Let's face it, video game movies usually suck (see article here
). For every guilty pleasure such as Resident Evil
there is a House of the Dead
, Street Fighter
, and Mario Brothers
stinking up this niche genre. What keeps going wrong?
What I'm here to do, gentle reader, is provide you with a list of video games that I think could become potentially worthwhile movies. This is, of course, assuming they aren't made by Paul Anderson
or Uwe Boll.
We don't need big-name stars or directors. All it would really take is a production team who took the source material seriously and a cast that didn't fail out of their community college acting programs.
Uncharted: Drake's Fortune
Think Indiana Jones in his younger days and replace him with Nathan Fillion
). Now you have the start of a great pulp movie. The game itself combines treasure hunting with loads of modern day pirates to act as bullet magnets. While the story is pure adventure, the characters would aid in the successful translation of this franchise. You've got smart-ass Nate Drake as your lead, a treasure hunter who doesn't have a problem breaking the law. Add in Elena, his spunky leading lady who will do anything for a story and knows how to shoot a gun. Round those two out with Sully, an older wiser ladies man who goes double agent on the enemies, and you've got the recipe for a great popcorn flick.
The Legend of Zelda
Our favorite green tunic-clad hero needs to make the leap to the big screen and show moviegoers a video game epic. You've got a classic story: boy meets girl and boy saves girl from power-hungry sorcerer who sometimes looks like a boar. The biggest problem would be translating Link's personality from silent warrior to a relatable icon. As long as the writers remember to focus on a boy journeying into a brand new world and being in awe of it, not being a smart-ass about it, we should be just fine. Oh, and let's borrow from the later game mythology and have Zelda more than just a damsel in distress. Anyone remember Sheik?
The only first-person shooter on my list, when Bioshock was released it set the standard for how a location can enhance a game experience. Set in an underwater utopia gone wacky, the player uncovers the mystery of just what went wrong in this experiment all while dealing with drug-fueled citizens, creepy little girls, and hulking Big Daddies (Behemoths in old-fashioned diving gear brandishing drills the size of your arm). This movie would rely heavily on the underwater setting and our solitary lead character who the audience learns the secrets of as he takes on the world beneath the sea. The game itself was heavily influenced by the works of Ayn Rand, and the movie itself should take cues from her writing, treating the audience like it has the intelligence to work out this puzzle.
I'm well aware that there is a Castlevania movie in development hell right now, but I'm going to ignore that because I'm sure it will be a letdown even to those with no expectations. The odd part is that the Castlevania series can so easily be turned into film. We're talking about a vampire hunter taking on Dracula. The biggest problem would be making sure the film isn't a retread of Dracula movies of the past. Ideally, the movie would include one of the Belmont clan, a family cursed with defeating Dracula every generation, and Alucard, son of Dracula and arguably the franchise's most popular character. Pour on the gothic horror, stay away from CG monsters and you may have a bloody good (lame pun intended) movie.
Metal Gear Solid
Considering many spend more time watching the second game in the series than playing it, this plot-heavy series is something moviegoers probably don't deserve to see on the big screen. Our lead character Solid Snake makes his way through whatever mission is placed in front of him only to face off against a cast of baddies that make Bond Villains seem well adjusted. Add to that plenty of main characters with just as many dark secrets as some of the bad guys and you've got a movie that needs a seasoned writer and director to carefully translate Snake's world from consoles to movie screens. Hell, this could easily turn into a trilogy of movies each with a different main character fleshing out the mythology, it worked in the games.
Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?
A gritty R rated movie dealing with a jewel heist gone very wrong filmed in the style of Sin City
. Think about it, that would be frakin' sweet!
Agree? Disagree? Make a comment!
Story by Dan Chruscinski
Starpulse contributing writer