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The Biggest Movie Mistakes of 2007

December 30th, 2007 12:00pm EST
Jessica Simpson2007 had some good, some bad, and some just downright ugly and unfortunate events in the entertainment business. Here's my rant on the ugly: The Biggest Movie Mistakes of 2007.

"Grindhouse" is split in two for its DVD release

I just didn't understand why movie goers were not lined up around the block. As soon as I saw the trailer and saw that it had something to do with a chick with a gun for a leg, Kurt Russell, and that Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez were behind it, I was there. What more could you possibly ask for? In this case, it wasn't just a movie, it was an experience. And for me, it was an enjoyable blast to the past and sparked an interest in Grindhouse movies. However, people just didn't go to the theaters. And then disaster. Miramax announced "Grindhouse" would be separated for its DVD release.

GrindhouseI'm, simply, not having it.

Is it still "Grindhouse" if it's split up and not seen as intended? It was marketed as a double feature for goodness sakes. But get this: you know those kick ass fake trailers that I just absolutely loved (And by the way, Mr. Roth, if you can hear me, please make Thanksgiving into a full length feature). Say bye, bye, as they will not be there. One of the best film concepts that I have seen in a very, very long time has been ruined for a DVD release.

I'll just wait for the ultimate, mega, freaking awesome edition that has both movies presented together with the trailers, hours of special features, Tarantino and Rodriguez commentary and some home cooking recipes a la Rodriguez. And I don't care how long it takes.

Alvin & The Chipmunks hits the big screen

Must Hollywood ruin everything about my childhood? What's next? Muppet Babies? Captain Planet? The Critic? The Tick? They've already sucked the life out of The Power Rangers. What else would they tarnish? And then they answered: Alvin and the Chipmunks. And it's a 3D animation.

Alvin & The ChipmunksOh, somebody has some explaining to do.

Listen, 3D animation is a very cool medium. The Incredibles and Toy Story were awesome. But, there are some thing that just should not be remade, especially in 3D. I do not need to see every hair that graces the little bodies of Alvin, Simon and Theodore and would like to remember the gang where it should have stayed: my childhood.

I had a similar problem when Garfield (also rendered in 3D) was released in 2004. To the present generation of Saturday morning cartoon makers and after-school TV bliss producers: get your own freaking ideas. The PG audience that these movies target will be too young to even know who these characters really were and what they looked like. Garfield was made into a movie 15 years too late, and I can sadly say the same for this one.

And Jason Lee is in Alvin and the Chipmunks! I loved you in Dogma. What's the deal, man?

Jessica SimpsonBlonde Ambition hits theaters...for a little while

My list went from three to four disasters when I came across this information just hours ago. Stick with your gut instinct. If you think something is going to go straight to DVD, it probably should. "Blonde Ambition" with Jessica Simpson as its lead (need I say more) was originally supposed to go straight to DVD. It was released Dec. 21 for a limited Christmas engagement in Texas. Long story short...the movie only grossed $400 (no, that is not a typo). See you in the $6.99 bin come January.

Rob Zombie's "Halloween" is released in August

HalloweenThis made absolutely no sense. I had my Halloween activities set as soon as I saw the trailer. I even started asking my other friends if they wanted to see a late showing on Halloween. Then I heard the devastating news, leaving my Halloween plans in shambles. Why on Earth would the heavily anticipated Rob Zombie take on "Halloween" be released in August?

The title of the movie does not allow compromise, period. It should have been released in October on Halloween weekend. This movie could have done so much better if it would have been marketed and released properly. Even though this is a remake, I can forgive because of Rob Zombie. But who decided August? For a film like this, where a canon needs to be followed and expectation are high and need to be met, it should have been released on or pretty close to Halloween.

Story by Destiny Lopez
Starpulse contributing writer