For every clever and well-written show that we watch, there exists an embarrassing and ugly television secret that we dare not reveal to our friends. These "so bad they're good" television shows hold a special place in our heart, if a secret one.
They are the DVDs that we hide, the channels we quickly change, the shows that we're afraid to admit that we actually enjoy. They are our guilty television pleasures. So in the spirit of sharing and growing together, Starpulse has put together a list of our "Top Ten Guilty Television Pleasures." But don't worry, they'll be our little secret...
Top Ten Guilty Television Pleasures
1. The Hills
From the frequent trips to Pink Berry, to the nightly dilemmas of what to wear and who to be mean to, "The Hills" answers for all of us the age-old question: What would life be like as an over-privileged white girl in Beverly Hills? Answer: Pretty f---ing sweet.
2. America's Next Top Model
Making modeling seem complicated is a difficult job, but a shamefully entertaining one. The brainchild of former supermodel Tyra Banks
, ANTM is unsurprisingly the best dumb show out there.
3. My Super Sweet Sixteen
You decorated your parent's basement to look like a Vegas casino; they secure Kanye West
. If there's anything more secretly satisfying that watching a 16-year old girl in stage make-up freak out about peacocks, I don't want to know what it is.
4. The Maury Povich Show
Any show that airs enough teenage pregnancy tests to make you pine for the days when they only covered secret crushes and primordial dwarves is automatically a guilty pleasure. Enough said.
5. Dancing With The Stars
You may criticize it around the water cooler and laugh at the costumes, but in your heart of hearts you know you can't wait to find out if A.J. Slater "out-Cha-Cha'd" Paul McCartney's
wife with the prosthetic leg. Go on, admit it.
6. MTV's Next
With a bus full of horny single contenders, and a stripper-turned-model ready to dish out scripted insult after scripted insult, "Next" is reality television at its most sadistic. It's perfect shameful viewing for those who enjoy pointing out other peoples' flaws...and couples.
7. The Naked Brother's Band
Nickelodeon’s TNBB is technically a children’s show, but as long as they don’t officially say it’s for children, I think we can all still hum the theme tune on the subway without feeling too embarrassed. With clever jokes, talented child actors, and unbelievably catchy pop songs, TNNB won’t be a guilty pleasure for long.
8. The Biggest Loser
Fat people who used to be famous run around in tracksuits, and they are publicly weighed and shamed by a man in a military uniform. If you want to admit to watching this to your friends and family, go right ahead. The rest of us will stay in the closet on this one.
9. Grey's Anatomy
The second highest-rating drama on television, "Grey's Anatomy" shows us a world where our doctors are real people, and divorcees find themselves ironically impaled with church spires. It's not suitable for those who crave realism, early seasons of E.R.
, or anyone with a Y chromosome.
10. Kid Nation
In "Kid Nation," CBS brings us a reality show in which 40 children aged 8-14 create and run a model 1900’s American town without adult intervention. A summary of episode three reads: “Mallory's upcoming birthday, as well as her hard work as a merchant and her constant optimistic attitude, prompted the Council to award her the Gold Star.” It’s just like real life!
Story by David Smithyman
Starpulse.com contributing writer