Sanjaya Malakar, the most recent contestant voted off American Idol, presented the Top 10 on the Monday, April 23, broadcast of the Late Show with David Letterman:

10. The camera adds ten pounds to your mohawk.

9. Work hard and make sacrifices, you can finish in 7th place.

8. It's very important to Keep it real, dawg.

7. I should have gone for the immunity idol, oh wait, that's Survivor.

6. On-camera Simon is a bit nasty, but off-camera, he' a total jerk.

5. Voting for yourself 100 times an hour causes some wicked carpal tunnel.

4. When you forget the words, just do this. (Sanjaya belts out a riff like Ohhhhhhhh)

3. Honestly, I thought I was auditioning for Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?

2. Nothing.

1. America loves performers with bad hair, "right, Dave?"