Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters
hits cinemas April 13 and if you're like me, you gotta wonder what the four main characters of rock to in their boom boxes. What follows is an odd eclectic mix of tunes - from Carl's big hair rock to Master Shake's collection of tunes about promiscuous women.
If you go to jail, why stay there? Get some friends with guns and dynamite to get you out.
There's more to this song than meets the eye. He's like, in this jail for kick ass rockers, and he kills this robot and hides inside the robot shell to get outta there. Bad ass.
Love in an Elevator
In the stage show they had an actual elevator. A little too on the nose if you ask me, but the song is still pretty rockin'.
Pour Some Sugar on Me
- Def Leppard
Lots of hot chicks liked this song when it came out. I'm hot, but I'm not sticky sweet though. And that is my ultimate downfall with single women at the moment.
The movie was kinda weird, there was like bird guys and the villain had these stupid eyebrows, but the song made me pump my fist some.
Wanted Dead or Alive
- Bon Jovi
Jersey baby!!! The Garden State!!! Hometown heroes!!! Hearing this makes me wanna be all macho cowboy, hop on a hog and go frost my hair, you know, back when I had that.
When the Bullet Hits the Bone
- Golden Earring
This is possibly the toughest song in the world. Look at the title. Bullets. Bones. The only way to make it rule more is if you called it "When the Bullet Hits the Bone of the Skull (with an Axe)". That would completely rule.
The Final Coundown
If you have to psyche yourself up to do something, like pay the water bill or take out the garbage, playing this song before you do it kind of makes it easier.
Having my Baby
- Paul Anka
Women like babies for some reason, and what's more romantic than making one of them? I'll tell you what. Using birth control. Babies cost money.
I'm in Love with a Stripper
- T. Pain
with Mike Jones
Strippers are like cable television. You wanna look, but you don't want to pay for it. And you definitely, definitely don't want to fall in love. Unless she can do that thing with the ping pong ball and the sweet pickle. That's what love is.
More Than a Feeling
You got a better riff than this, I'd like to hear it. But I won't. Cause it don't exist.
Party Party Party
- Andrew W.K.
This song is borderline obnoxious, but somehow you really like it and always want more. Kind of like that baby back ribs song on the TV.
- Bill Withers
If you don't smile when you hear this song, you may as well eat some rat's poison.
Day O (The Banana Song)
- Harry Belafonte
This song is fun and is also about bananas. Bananas got good potassium. And the symbol for potassium is the letter K.
- Lil' Jon
and the Eastside Boyz
This tells you how to wiggle your butt and it tells you to skeet a lot, which is like soft-shoe dancing. I ain't got no shoes.
Around the World
- Daft Punk
I like this song because it is a future world and the words are pretty easy. That way I ain't gotta remember nothing.
I'm Too Sexy
- Right Said Fred
This man is sexier than everything in the world almost. You think he's lying, until you see the video. He got muscles, boy.
- The Coasters
This song talks about getting nagged to death about doin' chores. How do they make that sound so fun? It just says, "Shut up and do your chores" over and over!
Wake Up Little Susie
- The Everly Brothers
This is about a girl falling asleep at the movies with a boy. I hope he didn't draw on her face while she was asleep. With toothpaste. And then shave her head. I hate it when people do that every night.
9 to 5
- Dolly Parton
I still want to get a job someday, even though this song tells me not to.
Move Your Feet
- Junior Senior
This song is my jammy jam. It fits my good dancing style.
- Richard Harris
I don't understand why this man is so sad. I would eat that cake, even if the rain made it all mushy. It's like cake soup in there, but it sounds like someone paid for it. Free cake. You know what I'm sayin?
I Want Candy
- MC Chris
I'm glad this song ain't called "I Want Vegetables." Because I don't want those at all. The best part about candy is that it tastes good.
This song is crazy. Is it supposed to be crazysexycool? That deep voice sounds like Jason from Friday the 13th if he talked. They should got Justin Timberlake
to sing the "Oh yeah" parts. Then I may actually buy it with the money I got from my grandmomma.
Slob on my Knob
- Three Six Mafia
I like this song because Frylock doesn't want me to listen to it. It teaches a valuable lesson about germs and how they done get transmitted. That's why you gotta wash your hands wherever you go where there's a door. Cause they got slob on the knob there.
This song has an extensive list of girls that have big butts. Tanya, Theresa, Irene, Melissa, Sonya, Shirley, Tammy, and Little Keisha, we salute you.
I really needed a new way to say "no doubt." This song helped me in my hour of need.
White Lines (don't do it)
- Grandmaster Flash
& the Furious Five
If a rap song doesn't convince you not to do cocaine, nothing will.
Reeling in the Years
- Steely Dan
You just put this on, open a bottle of merlot, get in the tub, and reminisce.
- David Bowie
I don't understand why he didn't just go into manual control and turn the ship around. It's like he wanted to die or something.
We Didn't Start the Fire
- Billy Joel
It's like a history lesson and the ultimate pop song in one! Great for kids and adults alike.
- Mr. Mister
Everyone likes an intense song about redemption and love and wings. I wish Mr. Mister would have dealt more with the legend of Icarus and the ultimate fall of Troy, but then the song would have been over an hour long. And that would be too much of a good thing.
Hardcore gangster rapper Snow tells kids that it's cool to rat out your drug dealing friends. An important lesson if you plan to live life on the mean streets.
- Kenny G
You've never heard anything like it.
Gonna Make You Sweat
- C & C Music Factory
He's gonna make you sweat till you bleed. Actually, that's kinda gross and unsanitary. Thank goodness they don't carry the Ebola virus.
This man makes love to synthesizers. I'm not even sure how that's possible, but he does it.
My Heart Will go on
- Celine Dion
Sometimes I use this song to euthanize lab rats. The subjects will usually chew their own wrists open and bleed to death right in front of you.
Any song about a slut is pretty much guaranteed to make the cut.
My Neck, My Back (lick it)
Addicted to Love
- Robert Palmer
How this bonehead got all those hot chicks in his video is a mystery. I mean, I can wear a suit too, you know.
Here I Go Again on my Own
All I can think about when I hear this song is Tawny Kitaen
bouncing around on the hood of a car, and then those nerds with teased hair from the band bust in and ruin everything. Who taught hippies how to use Aqua Net anyway?
I Would Do Anything For Love
You won't do what, Meatloaf? Pass up a buffet? Get your cholesterol checked? You would do anything for syrup straight out of the dispenser, Meatloaf. Still, I like your charisma. You got huge brass ones to take your shirt off in front of people.
We Built This City
I wonder if a city built on rock and roll comes to band practice late, lives in it's mom's basement, and has bad credit since it had to buy every imaginable brand of guitar amp before it got it's "sound".
Feel Like Makin' Love
- Bad Company
The chorus went "I want to bang your friends!" before it got a much needed re-write.
This is an epic song about stealing your uncle's old hot rod in the future, and racing it with future cars. I have since adapted this into a teleplay for the internet.
Any of the hundreds of women I have satisfied will tell you this song is about yours truly. Except for the part where he asks the girl if she's old enough.
Blinded by the Light
- Manfred Mann's Earth Band
The ultimate gross out song. If you rev up a douche it's no one's business but your own!
- Eddie Cantor
This is a 1920s version of that Golddigger
song people went crazy over, except Eddie didn't decide to ride on the coattails of a dead guy to get his point across. Instead, he used samples from hardcore gangsta contemporary Louis Armstrong
- David Bowie
"Well hung with snow white tan," "God given ass"... this song is practically my biography. I would have ditched the backup band and focused on my solo career, though.
- Master Shake
Wrought with emotion, intrigue, lyrics, and a tenderly plucked acoustic guitar, this melody is sure to stay in your heart forever. The devilishly handsome genius that made this track is also a good kisser.