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Joan and John are "The Two Jews on Film". They are married and see alot of movies eat alot of bagels. They usually disagree, but they tell it like it is. Or at least how they think it is...

'Guardians of the Galaxy' Review: If You've Never Seen A Marvel Movie, See This One

8/1/2014 5:20am EDT
'Guardians of the Galaxy' Review: If You've Never Seen A Marvel
Once upon a time a young boy named Peter Quill, who just lost his mother, was abducted by aliens and taken to a galaxy far, far away. The boy grows up to become Chris Pratt, well not really but that's the actor who plays Peter (aka Starlord), a lovable intergalactic thief.

Peter winds up stealing an Orb - we all know what an Orb can do right? In case you don't know (I certainly didn't) this Orb is all powerful and can destroy a civilization faster than you can tweet ‘you must see this film.’

Through a series of events, Peter finds himself in prison, where he teams up with some of Marvel's...

'Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes' Review: Brilliant, Breathtaking And The Best Of The Franchise

7/13/2014 4:16am EDT
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
Rarely is a sequel better than the original. Of course, there are exceptions, such as 'Godfather 2' and now 'Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.'

This film is absolutely fantastic on every level, starting with Andy Serkis as Caesar, the soulful, emotional, kind and fair ape that we met in 'Rise of the Planet of the Apes' which starred, James Franco.

Right off the bat, I have to say that Serkis is amazing. He gives such a beautiful, nuanced performance that we, as an audience, are able to feel everything that Caesar feels and thinks. The film, shot in 3D, is brilliantly directed by Matt Reeve...

Review: 'Transformers: Age Of Extinction' Is Surprisingly A Lot Of Fun

6/28/2014 6:19am EDT
Review: 'Transformers: Age Of Extinction' Is Surprisingly A Lot
The BOTS are back - the good, the bad, and the ugly - and to my surprise not only did I enjoy the robots, I actually liked this film. Now that's something considering I disliked the first three intensely.

The Plot: Although I doubt that anyone sees this franchise for the plot, here it is; don't worry, no SPOILERS.

Even though the Autobots, led by Optimus Prime, saved the planet and the human race from extinction (see 'Transformers 3'), the CIA - led by the super evil, Harold Attinger (Kelsey Grammer) - is out to destroy every single one of them.

He wants Earth for us earthlings. Now what...

'Jersey Boys' Great Music Barely Saves Clint Eastwood’s Latest Film

6/20/2014 5:45am EDT
'Jersey Boys' Great Music Barely Saves Clint Eastwood’s Latest F
Music is one of the most powerful forms of entertainment. A person can be in the worst mood when a certain song comes on the radio and instantly, the bad mood is gone. You're transported to another place - I think music elevates the moments of our lives.

Having seen the Tony Award winning musical 'Jersey Boys' on Broadway and in L. A., I was really looking forward to the film, directed by Clint Eastwood.

It's amazing the Clint Eastwood is still directing and acting at the age of 83, bravo for that. But Clint Eastwood directing a musical - I don't think that's exactly his thing because Je...

'The Fault In Our Stars' Review: A Beautiful Film About Dying & Living

6/7/2014 5:06am EDT
The Fault In Our Stars
Hazel Grace Lancaster (Shailene Woodley) is a 16 years old who loves to read. She also has a killer sense of humor, which comes in handy since she has cancer and must carry around an oxygen tank at all times.

Her super loving parents, (Laura Dern) and (Sam Trammel), worry that Hazel doesn't have any friends. At their urging she joins a cancer support group, which changes her life in the most unexpected way.

Hazel meets a guy named Augustus Waters (Ansel Elgort), who also has a killer sense of humor - which also comes in handy since he has a prosthetic leg. His hopes of playing basketball...

(Review) 'Edge Of Tomorrow' - Reliving A The Same Day Has Never Been So Thrilling

6/6/2014 4:00am EDT
(Review) 'Edge Of Tomorrow' - Reliving A The Same Day Has Never
'Edge Of Tomorrow' starring Tom Cruise, is a sci-fi thriller that takes place in the near future. When the film opens, we find out that an alien race known as Mimics have invaded the Earth, wiping out millions. So far, they are unbeatable.

Cruise plays Major William Cage, a slick public relations officer in the U. S. army, a post he took up after his advertising company went belly up. An alien invasion could do that.

He's never seen a day of combat. His job is to put a 'good spin' on our war with the space invaders and get people to join the military and fight. Because he's done such...

'X-Men Days Of Future Past' Does Marvel And Stan Lee Proud

5/23/2014 5:37am EDT
X-Men: Days of Future Past
Directed by Brian Singer and shot in 3D, ‘X-Men: Days of Future Past’ is one exciting ride and definitely one of the best films in the X-Men series.

The film starts out in the extremely bleak future. Not only for mutants, but for humans as well, thanks to these huge killing machines, known as the Sentinels.

What are the Sentinels you ask? Basically unstoppable robots which are programmed not only to track down and kill mutants, but murder any human that will give birth to a mutant or is a mutant sympathizer. So to say that mutants and humans are almost extinct, would be an und...

'Godzilla' Not The Star Of GODZILLA - The Lizard Needs A Better Agent (Video)

5/17/2014 7:15am EDT
'Godzilla' Not The Star Of GODZILLA - The Lizard Needs A Better
By Joan Alperin Schwartz

Might as well get right to it. What bothered me most about 'Godzilla' is that Godzilla is not the star of the film. He's barely a supporting player.

When the name of the film is GODZILLA, you'd expect our favorite, fire-breathing, bad-tempered, over-grown lizard to be the main character. Unfortunately, that is not the case.

Who are the main characters you ask? Star crossed lovers - aka MUTOS (Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Organism) Seriously? That's the name the scientists, way back when, gave to these ancient flying creatures?

Okay, so these two MUTOS ar...

Review : 'Neighbors' Is A Comedy That Actually Makes You Laugh...A Lot

5/10/2014 7:00am EDT
Review : 'Neighbors'  Is A Comedy That Actually Makes You Laugh.
By Joan Alperin-Schwartz

Kelly (Rose Bryne) and Mac (Seth Rogen) have just bought a house in a quiet neighborhood and have a baby named, Stella, (played by twins Elise and Zoey Vargas) who just might be the cutest babies on the planet.

Even though they find it hard to have impromptu sex, Mac and Kelly are enjoying their life as parents. They still, however, like to think of themselves as being young, hip and spontaneous.

When a fraternity moves in next door, the couple worry about the wild parties that might occur, so they do what any responsible adult/neighbor would do...Bring over ...

Review: 'The Amazing Spider-Man 2' Is Not All That Amazing

4/30/2014 1:00pm EDT
Review: 'The Amazing Spider-Man 2' Is Not All That Amazing
The Amazing Spider-Man is back and I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I just don't find this super dude all that amazing. I love super hero films: 'Iron Man', 'The Avengers,' 'X-Men,' 'Capt. America,'...big, big fan...'The Spider-Man,' not so much.

Personally, I think he'd be much more appreciated by a tween or teen audience. He's slightly goofy, whiny, mopey, and reminds me of a gawky teenager - which he is. But I don't think that's the only problem with this new 'Spider-Man' film. It just seems old hack: seen it...the car crashes, the monsters, the evil corporation that wants to take...