'Your Highness' directed by David Gordon Green (Pineapple Express) is the story of two brothers: Prince Fabious (James Franco) and Prince Thadeous (Danny McBride) who embark on a quest to save the virgin, Belladonna (Zoey Deschanel) Fabious's bride-to be.
The film opens with Prince Thadeus and his sidekick, Courtney (Rasmus Hardiker) about to be hung by a village of dwarfs. Thadeous has upset the 'little people'. But due to a miscalculation, the rope around their necks isn't long enough to do any real damage, so instead of dying...Thadeous and Courtney, escape.
Thadeous and Courtney ride fast and furious back to their kingdom where it just so happens, there's a celebration going on. Thadeous's brother, the fabulous Prince Fabious has just returned home from another successful quest bringing with him his beautiful virgin bride-to be...Belladonna. Thadeous envies his brother, big time. We know this because Thadeous spends a lot of time sulking and whining about how envious he is of the fabulous, Fabious. He also spends a lot of time drinking, partying and having sex with any woman that has a heartbeat...preferably from behind. Despite his envy, the last thing Thaddeus wants is to follow in his brother's footsteps...No quests for him.
Well that soon changes when Belladonna gets kidnapped by the super evil wizard Leezar (the brilliantly funny Justin Theroux). The King (Charles Dance) gives his dead beat son an ultimatum: Man up and help your brother rescue his bride-to be or get...Gasp!...Cut off.
Realizing he has no choice, Thadeous agrees to accompany his brother on this dangerous mission. Things go very quickly from bad to worse...The two brothers have to fight traitorous knights, witches who can shoot lightning bolts from their hands, battle a village of savage naked women (are there any other kind?) fight off a horny Minotaur and one really ugly monster with a lot of heads and very sharp teeth.
Oh and they also have to sexually gratify a pederast wizard puppet.
On top of all that, if they don't reach Belladonna before the twin moons are aligned...a time the virginal Leezar likes to refer to as...'The F*ckening'...she will be impregnated by a dragon casting the world into darkness, forever. Bummer...
Luckily the boys hook up with Isabel (Natalie Portman) a hot super warrior chick. She's never met a snake beast she couldn't defeat.
So does Thadeous find his inner hero and save the world? Does the virginal Belladonna and the adorable Fabious live happily ever after? Does Isabel work out her anger issues and settle down with a nice guy? Well you'll just have to go see this super fun spoof and find out for yourself. I gave this film 3 1/2 bagels...My husband...gave it one...Who do you agree with?
'Your Highness' opens in theaters, Friday April 8, 2011.
Watch "Downton Abbey TV Royalty Meet Actual Royalty"