No Costume Necessary: Stars With Freaky Everyday Looks
Michael Jackson - Powdery white skin. Jet-black hair. A nose in peril… Oh, no further explanation necessary.
Jocelyn Wildenstein: Often referred to as the "Cat Lady," nobody is sure how many times this notorious socialite has gone under the knife, but estimates put the cost of her facial fixes at a whopping four million dollars. Wildenstein began her transformation at fifty years old, reportedly after discovering the infidelities of husband Alec. Some say her look was purposeful; one doctor claimed the plastics junkie asked to resemble one of the large cats on Alec's jungle estate. Rrrowwr! Dear Lion Queen: Halloween only comes around once a year. Cut it out! Pun intended.
Jordan: Sigh… This dizzy British model cum Reality TV star seems to be the only one not in on the joke: Ginormous fake breasts, teased hair, overly plumped lips, and streetwalker wear is a clichéd stereotype, not an everyday look. Yet, even Jordan's loungewear persists in looking like it came out of a plastic bag sold on October 30th (Lucite stripper heels sold separately). Jordan aka Katie Price's third autobiography, Pushed to the Limit was released this February; we can only assume the title refers to her bra cups or our patience. Lady, for the love of (your husband) Pete and your three bewildered children, dress up this Halloween in a burka!
Bai Ling: Gotta give the girl credit for moxie! Best known for roles in The Crow, Red Corner and her 2005 spread in Playboy, Ling is now primarily a fixture in reality shows. Her last name means 'clever' in Chinese and you'll get no argument here: She knows her limitations as an actress, so she's opted instead to be known for antics like shoplifting at LAX airport and besting top red carpet media whores. Whether she's sporting chaps, bikini tops with leather vests, head-scratching footwear or strategically placed Band-Aids, she never met a flashbulb she didn't like. The paparazzi love her in turn: She is a worst-dressed list perennial and gofugyourself.com mascot. On any given day, Bai Ling wears things most folks lack the guts (or questionable fashion taste) to rock. Even Elvira would grudgingly agree.
Bjork: Two words - Swan Dress. Fans of singer/songwriter Bjork weren't surprised by her fashion choice at the 2001 Academy Awards, but for most Americans, that infamous ensemble was water-cooler fodder for weeks. While her fashion misstep at the Oscars unfortunately overshadowed her exquisite performance in Dancer in the Dark (2000), it did give Bjork attention, notoriety and the distinction of landing a permanent spot on all-time worst dressed lists forever after. But don't assume you've seen the best (or worst) from the impish Icelandic iconoclast yet: From kimonos to mesh, outrageous headgear to statement jewelry, the chick's a fashion risk-taker no matter what time of the year.
Richard Simmons: After losing 123 lbs in the 70's, this sensitive Louisiana boy helped countless others to do the same. A heart of gold and a consuming concern for the health/weight control of others leaves him precious little time to cultivate a varied wardrobe. So, if wresting that bag of Cool Ranch Doritos out of our grubby palms at midnight necessitates he throw on a seemingly endless supply of spandex wife beaters and circa 1981 gym shorts that come perilously close to showcasing his junk, so be it. Richard Simmons, you're our hero.
Little Richard: Where to begin? This legendary singer/songwriter/pianist put the "R's" in rhythm, rock & roll and rocking ridiculous rhinestones! The flashiest ordained Reverend around, this Georgia peach is synonymous with sparkly suits, teased/marcelled/processed hair and a mustache pencil thin enough for John Waters to envy. All Hallows Eve is the only day we mere mortals can even come close to matching his "tutti frutti" awesomeness.
Flava Flav: We love Flav. Admittedly, it is a Strange Love, but how can you feel otherwise when you consider a skinny Long Island rapper named William Drayton was once a 'Public Enemy' and has now endeared himself to mainstream America thanks to his three reality shows (most popularly Flavor of Love).We find his zoot suits and silk pajamas charming; his mouth of gold fronts strangely disarming; his oversize clock necklaces and crazy sunglasses a sheer delight. Sure, it'd be easy this Halloween to duplicate his easy, endearing style topped with a crown, oversized baseball cap or our favorite - the Viking hat. What's not so easy? Try to truly embody Mr. Drayton and imbue your kooky outfit with, well, flavor.
Judah Friedlander: You may not know the name, but you've seen him: Whether acting in films like Meet the Parents and Zoolander, appearing as himself on Best Week Ever or playing a writer on 30 Rock, Judah Friedlander is the unkempt everyman. He's never without his longish mussed hair, mutton chop sideburns, oversized glasses or trademark trucker's hats (he designs the slogans himself). Call this look what you will; it's notable mostly because although it's what your average hygiene-challenged neighbor wears to the Wal-Mart on Saturday, Friedlander wears it every day… And on national television. Looking for a low budget Halloween costume this year? Tell the guy at the costume shop you want to look like Joe 6-pack.
Story by Shannon Peace
Starpulse contributing writer
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