Does it really surprise anyone that Kim has a “glam squad” on retainer to do her hair and makeup whenever she needs to go out in public? And that they’re going to be on call when it’s time to go to the hospital to have her baby? Just checking, because Khloe and Kourtney are absolutely shocked, I tell you.
Kim’s life does call for her to be dolled up a bit more than the average woman; her existence revolves around being photographed for a living so it’s natural that she feels anxious going anywhere without a full face of makeup. The fact that she thinks she needs it during labor and delivery is sad, though.
Part of Kim’s diligence is due to the insane amounts of paparazzi covering her, amplified since she became pregnant. They won’t leave her alone, and it’s starting to affect the rest of the family too. Poor Kylie is scared to get her driver’s license because her car looks similar to Kim’s, and she keeps getting trailed by gangs of photographers. She makes a really great point to her dad – shouldn’t five grown men following a 16 year-old girl be illegal?
Kris’ mom, MJ, lives down in San Diego and has been on her own since her husband died 10 years ago. Though she has a tight friend circle, the girls think she needs a gentleman companion for “fun.” So they sign her up on a senior dating site without her knowledge and screen the eligible bachelors themselves.
After talking to a number of grandpas on the phone, they finally narrow it down to a lucky threesome who could potentially win MJ’s heart. Kourtney and Khloe meet them all at a diner to get to know their future grandfather better, and decide on the plucky Walt, who is ready for love and healthy as a horse after buying a bullet blender off the Home Shopping Network.
The problem is that they don’t clue MJ in on their grand plans until they’re on their way to go take her out to lunch. The poor thing thinks she’s having lunch with her granddaughters, when they ambush her with an internet boyfriend. The truth is, she’s still missing her husband and is having a great time with her girlfriends; she doesn’t need a Walt in her life yet. Or maybe ever. “You should have hired me a gigolo,” she says.
The paparazzi are getting so out of control that Kim and Jonathan can’t even get into her own house. They’re blocking her sidewalk and she can’t open the gate. It’s annoying now, but what if she’s in labor and needs to get away fast – then it’s scary.
“Kim, you’re like Princess Diana,” Khloe says without a hint of sarcasm or irony.
The problem is that the paps know that they’re winning, and they’re getting more aggressive to piss off anyone who gets in their way. Khloe tries to confront some outside the Jenner home, and the scuffle is intense enough that she decides to get the family attorney involved.
Basically, he advises Khloe, there is nothing they can do about the paparazzi unless they want a highly public legal battle going along with it. They’ll drag everyone through the mud, and it’s just not worth the hassle. Sadly, it’s only going to get worse after Kim gives birth.
Leah hears Khloe complaining about Kim’s high-maintenance routine, and wants to help her sister-in-law relax a little during her pregnancy. Leah is an angel, and also maybe high as a kite all the time? She invites Kim over to her house to do an experiment: she’s going to live like Leah for an afternoon, and Leah’s going to get glamorized sometime soon.
Kim shows up with no makeup in her workout clothes, and the two do some relaxing yoga together. They hang out and talk, and it’s so effective that Kim fires her glam squad.
It’s good that she has this newfound serenity, because things are about to get a lot more hectic. After a trip to the doctor, it appears that her baby might be arriving a lot sooner than expected. Like maybe next week’s episode?
- Kim generally seems like a very capable woman who has her life together, but dear lord, how could she not know that she needs to book a hospital room for when she gives birth?
- Was the incident where Bruce got out of the car to yell at the paparazzi while Kylie was driving staged after the fact? I don’t remember hearing about this happening, and you would think that it would have been everywhere that Bruce finally went off.
Kourtney and Khloe, describing Walt: “He’s really nice.”
MJ: “So is my gardner.”