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'Keeping Up With the Kardashians' Recap: Life's A Beach House

Samantha  Wilson Samantha Wilson
August 12th, 2013 8:33am EDT

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It’s heartwarming to know that Khloe and Lamar love each other just as much as the day they got married after knowing each other for a full month, and that Khloe wants to celebrate that love by giving her husband a unique and creative anniversary present. What says “I love you and I’m also a Kardashian” like a sexy photoshoot?

Over at the Jenner compound, Kris has summoned Jeff, her personal interior designer to turn something called “the blue room” into a nursery for Kim’s impending baby. The clock is ticking for Kim and Kanye and little soon-to-be North West to move into the mansion.

Kris is the only person really excited about this news. Kendall is worried that too many people are going to be living in the house, and isn’t particularly thrilled about having a newborn baby as a roommate. Her mother makes things worse for the teen by stipulating that Kendall and Kylie won’t be allowed to have any friends over at all during the first 40 days after the baby is born – basically the entire summer. THANKS MOM.

Brody and Brandon are still convinced that Kris is an evil Disney witch who won’t let Bruce speak his mind or ever have nice things. So they’re going to get him a putting green in his own backyard, dammit. Bruce gets really into the plans and sketches it out with the boys, agreeing that he shouldn’t have to even ask Kris first before tearing up the lawn.

Kendall is so vehemently against sharing her home with Kim’s family that she tells Leah and Brandon that she’s thinking about renting a place for the summer by herself. The problem with this is that she’s 17 years old and there’s no way this will ever work out.

Over in photoshoot land, Khloe is having a bit of a rougher time than she expected trying to be sexy. She’s self-conscious to begin with because she tried to make a sexy tape a few years ago for Lamar that wound up being funny; she’s afraid of a repeat performance. Her outfit for the shoot is a latex catsuit that makes her feel totally uncomfortable, and when her siblings start making fun of her, she considers cancelling the whole thing altogether. But she pulls it together, and the pictures are absolutely gorgeous. Lamar loves them, too.

Brandon decides to get the plans in motion for the putting green, and summons all of the siblings together for a meeting. They agree unanimously that Bruce needs the green, and that Kris CANNOT find out about it until after it has happened. Kim will be taking her on a business trip to NYC and Paris to ensure she’s distracted. They then film a video contract, because being blood brothers and sisters is apparently out of style.

Kendall fills Kris in about her plan to move out of the house at 17 in the most genius of teenage methods: framing it in a way that makes it seem like you’re helping your parents. But it still doesn’t work. Despite Kendall unloading Kris and Bruce of the overwhelming burden of having their underage daughter out of the house unsupervised, and having one less person in the way, Kris won’t let her leave. SO SELFISH, MOM.

But when Kris catches poor Kylie eating a sandwich in the car because there’s nowhere in the house where she can be alone, she kind of gets where Kendall is coming from. So she rents a beach house for the whole family to enjoy as a summer getaway; when things get hectic at home, they can come to the beach and enjoy the peace.

When Bruce is filled in on the beach house, after Kris has already left for her business trip with Kim, he has a little bit of a panic attack. She actually did something really nice, and maybe this isn’t the best time to piss her off with a surprise putting green destroying her lawn. He calls the boys and tells them to call the whole thing off, but it’s too late – they’ve already started.

Bruce rushed over to the house and tells them to just put the sod back on top of the dirt patches they’ve torn up; Kris is due home in about an hour at this point. But of course, she comes home in the middle of the kids scrambling to put everything back together again.

She flips out at the sight of tractors and ripped up grass, and at the revelation that all this was going on behind her back. She’s very sensitive about being painted as this shrewd woman who won’t let Bruce have anything, but Bruce also tends to paint himself as a victim.

All is well when everyone apologizes to Kris. Bruce doesn’t get his putting green, though. I guess we’re just forgetting about that?

Grade: B

Stray Observations:

- Bruce is friends with Jeff Dunham and they race cars together, and also attend car shows in parking lots together. Where did they meet? What do they talk about? Are there discarded puppet carcasses in the trunk of Jeff’s car?

- That beach house is insane, and it’s a really nice gesture for Kris to rent out a house for her family to use, but…why don’t Kim and Kanye move into the massive beach mansion when the baby comes? I am having a really hard time wrapping my head around this.

 

Photo Credits: NBC Universal, Inc.