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'Real Housewives Of New Jersey' Recap: Best Frenemies Forever

Samantha  Wilson Samantha Wilson
August 5th, 2013 10:25am EDT

Jac

In the wake of the most restorative bonding retreat in the history of trust building, all is calm and well in Franklin Lakes. Melissa goes to visit Joe with their sons at one of his construction sites, when he gives her some good news – Sizzle Tans wants the couple to appear on a series of billboards for the company.

Since Teresa was the star of a Sizzle Tans commercial several years ago, Melissa declines the offer so she won’t have something to fight about with her sister-in-law, and lets her husband star in the ad by himself. Are we all maturing already?

Things are so good, that Teresa and her daughters are preparing food for a Sunday dinner with Joe and Melissa’s family. The two families used to have dinner every weekend, so this is the first step in resuming their old relationship.

After leaving the construction site, Melissa heads over the Jacqueline’s house with Caroline to fill her in on all the details from the retreat. All is well and hilarious, until they mention the part where Caroline badgered Teresa into making up with Jacqueline. Knowing her former friend all too well, Jacqueline is a little wary of attempting to make up with her so fast. She doesn’t even know if she wants to meet with her. But Caroline persists and says to give her a chance when she reaches out.

At Sunday Dinner, it’s just like old times. Things are still a little tense between Melissa and Teresa, but what can you do? At least nobody brought sprinkle cookies. Joe Gorga expresses his desire to reconnect with Gia, his goddaughter, who he hasn’t been keeping in touch with during the feud. And Melissa lets Teresa know that she talked to Jac – now Teresa really has to follow through.

Since Kathy isn’t getting enough attention, she has to sit Rosie down for a heart-to-heart and let her know that they’re never going to get in a fight like Teresa and Joe. She loves her sister, and would never judge her for being gay. Apparently, at some point Teresa said that Kathy was homophobic when they were younger, but it doesn’t seem like Rosie ever believed this.

But speaking of Rosie, girlfriend hasn’t been getting any lately. So to change that, she goes to a lesbian bar with her sister, Richie, Melissa and Joe to troll for eligible ladies. Not the wingmen I would pick for that mission, but whatever. Rosie is overall disappointed with the selection at the bar, but has fun flirting anyway.

Caroline and Al invite their kids over for dinner at their Hoboken pad, and it goes just about as well as anything does involving Caroline. When one of their sons expresses how exhausted he is with his heavy workload, Caroline launches into a tirade about how he shouldn’t always put work first and that he needs to slow down. Al snaps as she’s saying this, telling her to stop meddling in her kids’ lives and to “shut the eff up.” Thank god, someone needed to say it.

The next day, Albie expresses some concern about his parents’ marriage to Caroline after seeing this happen, to which she basically tells him to mind his own damn business. Is a divorce about to happen?

While Joe has his truly tasteful photoshoot for Sizzle Tans, Melissa shoots the cover for her marriage handbook. It’s just her standing on her staircase, but she looks super cute while doing it. Joe hams it up in the tanning salon, rocking a bandana and doing pushups with a bikini model on his back. Someone was made for this.

But the drama of the episode comes when Teresa and Joe meet with Chris and Jacqueline. The men and women separate to have their own conversations, which go very differently. Basically, Teresa somehow blames Jacqueline for her terrible relationship with her brother, even though that ship was sinking for a long time. She’s also upset about some comments Jac made at the last reunion special about Joe cheating on her.

But like all good things on this show, the fighting will have to continue next week…

Grade: C+

Stray Observations:

- At the lesbian bar, there’s a code system with glowsticks (single, taken, DTF, etc.) and Melissa has no idea what DTF means.

- Best Quote: Teresa – “Everyone beats at their own drum.”

Photo Credits: NBC Universal, Inc.


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