'The Celebrity Apprentice' Recap: Puppets Behaving Badly
Wow! That’s a lot of drama, and they’re not even on stage yet! Penn introduces Clay and Lisa, before getting the audience to yell out suggestions. They settle on “Bjork’s icefishing career in Iceland,” a piece on Genghis Khan, and a fake infomercial. Puppet Up! They do well, though Lisa has a critique about Penn’s hosting.
Next up are Team Unanimous. On the sidelines, Paul’s not feeling any pressure. Aubrey’s confident in her role as host. Arsenio’s up first as a Norwegian dentistry specialist. He fakes a Norwegian accent. Then Teresa and Arsenio play through a scene about Johnny Appleseed. Teresa breaks the first rule of improv right off the bat when she keeps turning down suggestions. To Aubrey’s surprise, Teresa’s voice and attitude still sell the scene. They do a fake infomercial on pantyhose, and Teresa does very well. So well, she’s now considering herself an expert on improv. Aubrey feels she did a good job, and behaved as a team player.
Eric (no sign of Ivanka) asks Brian and Patrick what they thought of the teams’ work. First off, Brian was impressed at how much was accomplished in one day. They thought Aubrey set up and ended the sketches properly, Arsenio was terrific, and Teresa broke a lot of improv rules. Lisa they expected to be great, and they were happy with how Clay stepped up, but Lisa got a little too explicit in their infomercial scene. They noted that Penn was good overall, but that he was slow on cutting the Genghis Khan scene at its natural ending point. And the winner is …
Ah, the Board Room. Trump’s first concern was for how Dayana got along with Lisa. “How everybody gets along with Lisa, I guess. Until she explodes.” Lisa graciously answered Trump’s question of what she thought of Dayana with a curt, “not much.” Get a room, you two!
While Lisa goes off on a diatribe about Dayana dissing the entire world of backstage workers in her quest to always be on stage, Dayana acts the innocent, who only had obedience to her Project Manager in mind. Trump is told that Lisa and Clay worked the puppets, while Penn “too big to puppeteer” Jillette acted as the host. Clay mentions that he himself was “too small to host.” Ivanka points out that Lisa did make the right decisions on whom to cast. Dayana says, that’s fine, but she wanted to do a little more than sit around and watch them rehearse. Lisa says that Dayana has limited skill sets, an accent, and doesn’t seem to realize that comedy is really hard to learn.
Since this makes sense, Trump wants to know why Dayana still looks so upset, and she says it’s about the level of aggression and disrespect that Lisa carries in herself and projects to others. She thinks that’s disrespectful and unprofessional.
Lisa dissolves into tears when Trump asks her who she’ll bring back to the Board Room, should her team lose. She says she hasn’t decided if she’ll bring anyone back. She’s a professional comedian who just wants to make people happy, not make girls cry. She might just bring herself in. She is not a villain, but she has strong opinions, and she hasn’t decided yet what she’ll do.
Trump says he sees her as a great comedian, albeit sort of villainous, but it looks like she’s going to go down as a much nicer and much different person than the world understands. He then asks Penn if he thinks comedians always have to be tough. Penn says that bravery is not an absence of fear; it’s actually facing the fear. You may have to act tough, but that doesn’t mean your heart doesn’t get broken.
Paul says he didn’t know a thing about puppets, but he stepped up as Project Manager because no one else wanted to. He thinks everyone on the team did well, and that they won. But he’d have to bring Teresa back as his weakest player, based on how she struggled with the puppet’s name, which leads to Ivanka telling Trump that Teresa’s daughter Milania is named after Trump’s wife. How can he fire her now? Ivanka also points out that Paul was handicapped this week by a bad back. Arsenio says Paul was their inspiration, because he didn’t quit.
Eric and Ivanka sum up the comments made by Brian and Patrick, adding that Dayana’s puppets were such a hit, the company might use them themselves in further shows. But the winning team is Lisa’s team Forte. Lisa’s charity, Gay Men’s Health Crisis, will receive the donation of $20,000.00. She cries happily to hear the outcome.
In the Forte suite, the team clink champagne glasses and wish each other congratulations. Clay toasts the charity and gay men in general. Dayana says she’s happy they finally won; she’d forgotten how champagne tasted! But she interviews that Lisa can change so quickly, she can’t be trusted. They watch as Trump lambasts Team Unanimous.
Arsenio agrees that their puppets were a little too specific, especially his rocker character. But he doesn’t feel he should be fired. Teresa says they all worked on the puppets; the final call was Paul’s. Paul thinks responsibility for the puppets rests with the person who would play the character, especially Teresa, who just kept adding embellishments. Teresa again says Paul was in charge, and that Paul should be fired as he did very little. And if anyone doesn’t move quickly, that’s Paul.
Aubrey takes the high road, saying that Paul was injured, and it’s not his field, so it was more difficult for him to contribute, while Teresa did contribute a lot. Paul starts to get angry, saying that he’s run his own business for 40 years, and he didn’t do that by sitting on his butt. Teresa carries on burying Paul by saying that he did nothing but sit around and swear all day. Ivanka says that, whether Paul was swearing or not, it can’t be very motivating for his team.
Yada yada, under the bus, I worked hard … it goes on and on. Surprisingly, Aubrey comes to Teresa’s defense, saying that Teresa has heart, stamina, and worked hard on the task. Arsenio says that Paul is very smart, an engineer who knows his stuff. When asked whom he would not bring back into the Board Room, Paul chooses Arsenio, as a person who brings a lot of versatility to the table, as well as having a history as a businessman.
Paul, Aubrey and Teresa wait nervously in the reception area, while Trump and family discuss who should be fired. Eric says it’s a tough one, but Ivanka thinks that Paul seems a little tired, a little lackluster.
When they re-enter, Aubrey says she’s going to play the Dayana card – she doesn’t deserve to have been brought back, as she didn’t do anything wrong. Trump wonders why Arsenio was not brought back in, as the executives weren’t thrilled with him, but loved Aubrey’s work. Aubrey says Teresa brings up all of her ideas, be they good or bad, and Teresa takes offense. Trump agrees that it was a rather back handed compliment.
Aubrey says that, between Paul and Teresa, she’d have to fire Paul. Teresa tried really hard, while Paul, as PM, wasn’t very passionate about the task. Maybe that’s why they lost, says Trump. Paul says that he was impressed with Aubrey during this task, as she was creative and a great team player. Trump then asks Paul if he signed off on all of his team’s work, and again says it was an error not to bring Arsenio, rather than Aubrey back. Paul was Project Manager, didn’t bring Arenio back, and his team lost. Paul, you’re fired.
Paul saunters out, seemingly unconcerned with losing. Aubrey shouts out, “We love you; you’re a class act, Paul Senior.” Trump and the Trumpettes say Paul will be missed.
Paul’s limo exit speech: “It’s kinda weird being fired because I’m usually on the other end of the shoe, there, I’m the guy that’s doing the firing. But you know, I’ve experienced being humbled in my life quite a bit, so, nothing wrong with that. I thought it was a great experience, working for Donald. I thought he was a pretty stand up, regular guy, so for me it was an honor, something different than I usually do, and, you know, all good things come to an end.”
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