'Two And A Half Men' - Hipster Jesus To Chiseled Stud. Hold The Cranberry Juice
As Walden and Zoey prepare for an evening out, he is surprised to find that Zoey is not a fan of his beard. He had assumed that she liked it as much as he did. But that’s not the case, and she’d like him to shave, and as soon as possible. She’s also not crazy about the ‘Jennifer Aniston’ hairdo.
In the living room, Alan isn’t having much luck creating an online dating profile. Walden invites him to join them for dinner.
At the restaurant, Zoey notices how food catches in Walden’s beard. Alan defends Walden’s rugged, sexy look. Zoey reiterates that women prefer men to be properly groomed. They notice that Alan’s old girlfriend, Lyndsey, is sitting at the bar. Alan is nervous about approaching her, but Zoey and Walden encourage him to give it a try. As he chats her up, her very handsome, and much younger, date Dylan arrives, complaining that the parking attendant didn’t seem to know how to drive a Ferrari. Alan tries to excuse himself, saying that he’s there with Walden, who’s trying to set him up with his baby sister. But when they all turn to look at Walden, he’s in the middle of a passionate kiss with Zoey.
Jake and his friend Eldridge are watching Beavis and Butthead on the beach house TV. They have a meandering conversation, while commenting on the stupidity of the characters. When they hear someone coming in, Jake asks for the air freshener. His friend passes him the bug spray, since it says it’s for ‘roaches.’
Walden, Zoey and Alan enter the house, with Alan noting how young Lyndsey’s date was. Zoey points out that he was also clean shaven. They go up to bed, and Alan joins the boys watching TV. He tells Eldridge that he ran into his mom, Lyndsey, at the restaurant with Dylan. Eldridge thinks Dylan prefers men to women, and says that Lyndsey talks about Alan all the time. When Alan leaves to visit Lyndsey, Eldridge admits that he was lying to get rid of Alan. Alan shows up at Lyndsey’s house with a bottle of champagne and a bouquet of flowers, and hears her having loud sex with Dylan.
Zoey pretends to have beard hair stuck in her mouth. Walden asks if she really hates his beard that much and she says that she does. When he asks why she’s suddenly so down on his beard, she admits that there is an important cocktail party coming up at her work, and she’d rather not show up with ’hipster Jesus.’ He’s not happy, but if it will make her happy, he’ll have his hair cut, and his beard shaved.
As Walden has his hair washed by Berta, who it seems used to be a prison barber, Alan enters the kitchen, and makes a few snide remarks about Walden being told what to do by Zoey. Walden insists he’s having the makeover for himself, not Zoey.
Lyndsey calls and Alan is thrilled. He can’t figure out why she’d want to see him, rather than her young, good looking stud with money. Maybe she needs a kidney, he thinks.
Walden shows up for the party, and Zoey is disappointed that he hasn’t shaved or had his hair cut. He admits that he only said he would so that she would stop nagging him. She’s furious. He says that he couldn’t go through with it, because ‘this’ is who he is, and if she doesn’t like that, what’s the point of their relationship. She says that the point is that he lied to her. He says that what she was trying to make him do was wrong. She slams the door in his face. He shouts that he’s glad he found out about her attitude before falling desperately in love with her.
Alan and Lyndsey are making out on the couch at the beach house. He has to ask, though, what’s going on with her boyfriend. She says they have broken up, but certainly not over Alan. She’s just exhausted from going out with a gorgeous 25 year old man; having to get up an hour before him to put on makeup, having sex constantly, working to keep in perfect shape. She’s missed Alan because Alan’s standards are so much lower – she doesn’t have to worry about disappointing him. She could even fart, and he’d put up with it. To test him, she does so.
Zoey drops by to see Walden, and she is delighted to see him short haired and clean shaven. She asks him why he’s done it now, and he says that when she wasn’t nagging him, he wanted to. She’s come by to apologize for nagging him, and to have him elaborate on his ‘falling in love’ comment. They head upstairs to test drive his new face.
Lyndsey says to Alan, “that poor girl. She’s going to have to hold in her farts until the fourth of July.”
Later, Alan brings Lyndsey cranberry juice as she reads a magazine in bed, and asks when they’ll know that her ‘lady problems’ have cleared up. She explains that she’ll be able to pee without screaming. Zoey comes out of Alan’s bathroom, thanking him for letting her use his, as she doesn’t want Walden to hear any of her private noises. Lyndsey and Alan lie in the dark, listening to Zoey and Walden’s love making. Lyndsey is grateful she’s not in Zoey’s place, but Alan’s not so sure.
What a cheery little episode to brighten up the winter doldrums! Walden still gets what he wants, Alan – well, Alan almost gets the girl. Might be a while until she’s functional, and she’s opting to highlight the cruder aspects of everyday life, but at least he’s got someone.
I am a huge fan of Walden’s new look. What did you think? And were you a little surprised to see Alan back with Lyndsey? Let us know in the comments, below. See you next week!
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