Jackie wakes up as Kevin is tiptoeing out of the room. He wanted to let her sleep, but he wants to get in some batting practice before the day starts. As she gets the kids ready for school, she watches Grace and Fiona take their vitamins, and her face, grim with craving, causes Grace to ask her mother if she wants a vitamin. “No thanks, sweetie. Those are for you.” says Jackie. But I think she’s thinking about Grace’s Xanax.
At the Batting Cage, Kevin is furiously swatting at the balls, with Eddie watching. Kevin tells Eddie that he can’t look at Jackie anymore. All of the unspoken things, the things he wants to say to her, he feels he can’t say. He says Eddie must know what he’s talking about, but Eddie says he doesn’t. Kevin is clearly angry, and doesn’t feel he can confront Jackie.
Akalitus learns that the First Lady will not be visiting her hospital. Picking the wrong moment to ask, Jackie wonders if she’s off probation yet, and Akalitus says she’ll tell her when it’s time. When Jackie says it’s been two weeks, and she’s at the end of her rope, Akalitus tells her to make more rope. Akalitus then has to tell her group of chubby children that there will be no meeting of Mrs. Obama, but that doesn’t mean they’ve lost – they’ll still have a great day together. Wearing their bright yellow “No Thanks I’m Full” t-shirts, the kids look unimpressed. Later, Akalitus gives them a lecture on the dangers of eating candy, illustrated by an illuminated X-ray, as she offers them raisins as an alternative sweet. Best of all, she shows them how an empty raisin box makes a terrific musical instrument. She then realizes two of the kids are missing.
In the washroom, Jackie holds Grace’s prescription bottle in her hands, then tosses all of the pills into her mouth.
Thor gives Dr. Cooper his Fantasy Football winnings, all in big bills. Thor angles to be best man at Coop’s wedding, saying he not only helped him win a small fortune, he had his braces removed a week early so he’d look good in the pictures. Coop’s already chosen Eddie, so tries to let Thor down easy by asking him to sing at the wedding.
In the ER department, Zooey’s in street clothes, and wearing mascara. She invites Jackie to a gathering to celebrate National Nurses Appreciation Week. She’s reserved a room in the basement. (I hope that means God will be playing piano!) Thor and Jackie think that Appreciation Week is patronizing, a bone thrown to the overworked and underpaid secretaries, teachers, and nurses. Zooey is dismayed that none of the nurses will come to her party, a party which, Thor notes, she’s throwing for herself.
Eddie scuttles up to Jackie and says they have a problem. He’s sure Kevin knows about Eddie’s affair with Jackie. Jackie’s sure Kevin doesn’t know anything. Meanwhile, O’Hara announces that they have incoming trauma; cab driver vs pedestrians. She wants Jackie to talk to the cab driver. The driver says he never saw the pedestrians, they ran in front of the cab. He begins to clutch his chest, and Jackie and Kelly get him to a bed, where he goes into cardiac arrest. As Jackie begins a procedure to re-inflate his lungs, she asks Kelly to get medication the patient will need later. He tells her she can get the meds, and she admits that she can’t, as she’s on probation. He offers to help.
Lenny brings in Ruth, who can’t stop coughing. Coop’s not impressed, and asks Jackie to come with him to the chapel, where he’s organizing who will stand where at his wedding. He still needs someone to pick up the cake, cue the music, and make sure everyone is seated, and he’d like that person to be Jackie. When she says no, he says he’d ask his moms if they were still together. She tells him he’s playing his last divorce card … she’ll do it.
At Zooey’s basement party, she stands alone, until Lenny arrives. He doesn’t know about the Appreciation Week, and hopes he hasn’t forgotten an anniversary. Thor walks in, and compliments Zooey on the decorations. He also loves the acoustics of the room, and takes the opportunity to rehearse his song for Coop’s wedding. As Thor tries to comfort Zooey over the lack of guests, a cop arrives with flowers for Zooey for Nurses Appreciation Week. Both Thor and Zooey think they’re being made fun of, but the cop says his mom and sister are nurses, and nurses deserve flowers. The cop flirts with Zooey, and she invites him to join the party. He’s on duty, but he’ll take a rain check. Two of the chubby kids find the party, and Zooey gleefully allows them in, where they gorge on the sweets. Akalitus finds the kids and advises them to go easy.
Jackie asks O’Hara to refill Grace’s prescription. When O’Hara says Grace may be making too many, Jackie says she’s not. Please, says Jackie. O’Hara realizes Jackie is taking the pills herself. Coop stops by to see what O’Hara is wearing to his wedding, but she says she’s not going. Too painful? He asks. Okay, now O’Hara is definitely going.
Coughing Ruth is being attended to by Sam, who’s brought Ruth codeine to suppress the coughing reflex. As Ruth sees Jackie’s disapproval of the pills, she asks Jackie if she should take the codeine. She’s worried she’ll get sick. Jackie notes that over the counter cough medication would work as well, and that being in the hospital around sick people will get her sick, not the cough. Unnecessary opiates could do more harm than good. Jackie recommends that Ruth stay clear of dairy and get some Chloraseptic before resorting to drugs. Ruth gives Jackie the pills, and she pockets them.
As Jackie enters the bathroom to take the pills, Kelly rushes in, telling her he’s high on the rush of working in Trauma. He then admits that her probation is his fault. He reported the missing drugs to cover his and Eddie’s butt, but didn’t realize he’d landed her in trouble. He asks her to come out with him after work and have a drink. Jackie gets a text from Kevin, asking her to call him, and ignores it.
In the pharmacy, Eddie is trying to get out of being Coop’s best man. He says that when you get married, it only ends with someone else sleeping with your wife. He’s not getting involved. Later, as Eddie leaves for the day, Coop catches up to him. Eddie apologizes for his words, saying he’s had a bad day, and just wants to go home. Coop says he knows everyone thinks he’s insane, but he’s 35, his family just fell apart, and he’s tired of eating alone. Eddie gives in; he’ll be the best man, but no hugging.
Jackie visits O’Hara’s office. O’Hara’s refilled Grace’s prescription, but she wants to help Jackie. She knows Jackie won’t go to meetings or rehabs, so she wants to prescribe for Jackie to help her get clean. She’s not comfortable with the situation, but just wants everything to be better.
At a comedy club, Kelly and Jackie order Tequila, as a female comedienne talks about marriage being a trap. Jackie tells Kelly that she injured her back a week before he started at the hospital, so she took four of the patches. He admits he took six – and he’s never been to Haiti. Jackie explodes into laughter, delighting the comedienne.
Next week: the Season Finale. Jackie’s been telling lie after lie. It all comes crashing down as Kevin finally demands the truth. And will Coop get his dream wedding? Will the statues be returned?