15 Badass Baldies In Movies
You talk a big game about your love of long-haired stars -- your Johnny Depps, your Viggo Mortensens, your Hugh Jackmans -- but there's something about a bare head that adds to the menace and allure of our favorite action stars.
We were struck by the sheer amount of baldness in the poster for "Fast Five" and it encouraged us to dig deeper. Below, check out 14 guys -- and one girl -- whose naked scalps have scared and intimidated us for years.Jason Statham
No one has tied his name more to a particular type of movie more than Jason Statham, to the point where all you have to say is, "It's a Jason Statham movie" and everyone knows exactly what you're talking about. Sometimes you're in the mood for Kurosawa. Other times, you want to see a man ram a shotgun up someone's ass. Everyone has their place.
The former club bouncer has made more than 20 films, most involving the recital of pithy James Bond-esque catchphrases followed by some sort of beatdown via weapon or fist. As both a bouncer and action star, the bald head is essential to your image, especially if you can't act.
We'll admit playing the title character in the romantic musical "The King and I" is not exactly the stuff of renegades, but Yul Brynner redeemed himself with Michael Crichton's 1973 dystopian western "Westworld." Although Brynner covered up his most powerful feature – his glistening head – with a cowboy hat, it couldn't stop him from being a robot at an amusement park that turns on its creators and goes apeshit. Sweet.
Michael Clarke Duncan
At 6'5'' and the size of a tank, Michael Clarke Duncan doesn't need a lot more to be one of the most intimidating actors around. But the shaved head doubtlessly added to the mystique and appearance of convicted rapist and murderer John Coffey in "The Green Mile." Duncan snagged an Oscar nom for that role. The head didn't hurt his chances.
Even before he was bald, dependable villain Ironside, best known as the dick in "Total Recall," the dick in "Top Gun" and the dick in "The Perfect Storm," could do this. With his mind.
That is all.
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
Sure, there's the unforgivable "Tooth Fairy" and "The Game Plan," but any bald former college football player-turned-professional wrestler-turned-action hero deserves a spot on the list. Judging by his increasingly receding hairline, we're guessing the baldness was borne more out of necessity than style, but as long as Johnson has one raised eyebrow, he'll be fine.
Few actors can simultaneously pull off evil and affable as Sir Ben Kingsley. Whether it's portraying a beloved international figure ("Gandhi") or a ruthless gangster ("Bugsy"), Kingsley's head emits an authoritative glow and aura that says, "Hey man. It's cool. You can trust me. I'm here to help." Even if he turns out to be full of shit like in Sexy Beast.
Samuel L. Jackson
Our favorite overly emotive actor doesn't need to be bald to revel in the histrionics that have made him both an acting icon and target of countless parodies. Still, we can't picture Neville Flynn in "Snakes on a Plane" or Nick Fury in "Iron Man "or any of the three upcoming Marvel films as anything less than hairless.
He's not as strong as Michael Clarke Duncan. Not as evil as Ben Kingsley. And not as cool as Samuel L. Jackson. But the Nirvana of actors — each scene starting off in hushed tones and eerily building up to a bellowing roar — has created so many indelible characters, you can't front on a man who inspired a movie that took place in side his own brain.
She only went bald for one role – Evey Hammond in the film adaptation of Alan Moore's dystopian epic "V For Vendetta" – but if you can look just as good bald as with flowing tresses, you've made our Eternal Hotness list. Having a shaved head is an important function of the film, and as the only female on this list, seeing a bald Portman run at you, gun in hand, simultaneously scares and endears us.
It takes a true rebel to turn a rare genetic disorder that strips you of your hair, sweat glands and fingernails into a 35-year film career. With his unique, massively oval head and scary-looking demeanor, Berryman has played the heavy in everything from Wes Craven's original "The Hills Have Eyes" to "Weird Science" (playing one of the crazy bikers who crashes the party). No doubt his slick-headedness contributed to his malevolent look.
How manly is Ving Rhames? Go back to "Pulp Fiction," where dude is violated against his will and immediately comes back for revenge. Seriously, Maynard and Zed. Why would you provoke this guy of all people? Did you really think that would end well? Rhames would go on to play similar menacing figures in "Con Air," "Bringing Out the Dead" and the "Mission: Impossible" series.
Like his countryman Ben Kingsley, Sir Patrick Stewart's voice can emote a more diverse range of expressions than most people's faces. But as Jean-Luc Picard in "Star Trek: The Next Generation," Charles Xavier in the "X-Men" franchise and numerous Shakespearean productions, Stewart's head gives each role an added gravitas that his more hirsute peers can only attempt to emulate.
Everyone knows Troyer as Mini-Me in the "Austin Powers" franchise, but the 2'8'' actor makes this list more for his stunt work, doubling for a 9-month-old in "Baby's Day Out" and hurling 32 inches of badassness in classics such as "Dunston Checks In" and "Jingle All the Way." And there's a confirmed sex tape floating around the Net. Have fun getting that image out of your head.
Our most outwardly surly member has only been permanently bald for a few years, but in some of his most memorable roles, Willis' shiny head has augmented his insanity (James Cole in "12 Monkeys") and viciousness (Butch Coolidge in "Pulp Fiction"). Now that his hair choice seems to be out of his hands, look for the grumpy visage to only intensify.
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