'Bachelorette' Recap: 10 Things You Don't Want To Happen When Meeting The Family
Check out our list of 10 things you don't want to happen when meeting the family on a reality show:
10. Your father (Kiptyn's) writes and performs a piss-poor "Bachelorette Blues" song for her, embarrassing the hell out of you. Then your mom joins in on the bongos, thoroughly embarrassing you.
9. He (Michael) has a twin brother and tries to go upstairs to change clothes with him in an attempt to weasel information out of you. Jillian busted Michael right away when he tried this. Michael even went through the lengths of shaving to match his clean-shaven twin, and is it wrong that some of the folks in the Starpulse office kind of wish he had cut himself just for trying such a dumb maneuver? Not enough where he was really hurt, but just enough where he would have an embarrassingly bloody face all night, maybe some wads of toilet paper stuck to his mug.
8. Your brother (Jesse's) tells her that you can be "an emotional ice cube." Thanks for looking out, bro!
7. Your (Reed's) brother tells her about all of your commitment issues. These siblings are really great with these background checks.
6. Just before you meet his (Wes') family, the pilot guy (Jake) you dumped last episode, flies out to tell you that Wes has a girlfriend back home.
5. The girlfriend's (Wes') name is Laurel. Did we hear that right? Like Laurel and Hardy?
4. Your brother (Jesse's) during a one-on-one conversation with your reality girlfriend, out of nowhere, says to her, "Have you guys been naked together?" Why is there something Jillian should know about, like Jesse has a third ball or something?
3. His mother and father (Kiptyn's) saw last season of the Bachelor where you got busy in a hot tub, they put police caution tape around their hot tub as a joke, and you impulsively blurt out, "that doesn't stop me."
2. His (Kiptyn's) mother, who you view as a touch "intense and intimidating," "grills" you for an uncomfortable while, and then asks, "How do you deal with an over-bearing mother-in-law?" Answer: Pull aside that caution tape and make out with her son.
1. Just before weighing in all the considerations from meeting all these families, Ed from Chicago, the guy who came to his senses and reluctantly kicked himself off to get back to the job he was afraid he might lose due to missing obligations because he chose unpaid reality love instead, comes back to give it another shot. Now you got a whole new fella to consider kicking to the curb as you stare at those pictures on the mantle. Why do they always do that after the host leaves the room? Would if Jillian said to the cheesy host guy, "I don't want to look at the 8 x 10's. I've already made my choice. Besides, two of the guys in these shots look like they're grabbing their own butts (they were)."
Image © American Broadcasting Companies, Inc.
Story by Matthew J. Swanson
Starpulse contributing writer
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