Is Angelina Jolie Going Into Politics?

Shirtless Men Vie For 'The Bachelorette's' Attention

MatthewJ Swanson MatthewJ Swanson
May 27th, 2009 8:57am EDT
The BacheloretteAfter dumping half of the men with little to no information to go on in episode one, Jillian of "The Bachelorette" was left with 20 more fellas, and whether they were break-dance instructors (are there enough people out there wanting to learn the worm?) or oil and gas consultants (is that a fancy way of saying Guy at the Counter of Jiffy Lube?) Regardless of their varying professions, they share one commonality: they're all in ridiculously good shape and spend a lot of their time shirtless, which is how they were spending the beginning of episode two, shirtless at a dude's only pool party.

Enter Jillian, who chatted them up for a bit, and then took off with the rose - the very rose that could decide their fate! The boys had no time to waste. They had to fetch that rose! So, naturally, they were off to their MINI Coopers in teams of two, shirtless, of course - no time to put on shirts or fetch their drivers licenses, and they followed clues in a race of speed and wits. What better way of choosing the man with whom she should spend the rest of her life?

The Bachelorette

Image © American Broadcasting Companies, Inc.



The next rose would be decided on a day that started with Jillian walking towards the men in a sexy outfit with cowboy boots, and many of the men proceeded to hoot and holler at her like a crew of construction workers - a tried and true means of wooing chicks. The incredibly boring airline pilot (he literally talks like those "this is your captain" speeches) won the date and gave her what was in his humble estimation, "one of the best nights she's ever had." He had one move that we at Starpulse don't recommend trying at home unless you're an extremely good looking commercial airline pilot: asking her a question and abruptly kiss her, cutting her off in mid sentence. Some women would think that would indicate that a guy didn't care what she had to say, but she loved that maneuver.

She may have a hard time ruling any of these guys out, as evidenced by her keeping this guy as well as the Foot Pervert (see write-up for episode one) who revealed himself to her as having a foot fetish, calling her feat a "phenomenon." She also kept another man for the sole reason that he ran into the ocean in a Speedo. Another participant tried to one-up him by stripping naked, jumping into the pool, but first saying, which will likely go down as the funniest phrase ever uttered in the show's history, "Jillian, will you accept this butt?" Sadly, she eliminated that guy, thus denying him, as well as his butt.

Now for the dirt and the drama. Everyone hates Wes the country singer who makes no attempt to be cool or civil to any of the guys, is suspected of only being on the show to further his singing career, and who interrupted one guy's time with Jillian after less than a minute of conversation, despite the fact that Wes already had a rose and was safe for the round. He would have easily been picked by the Bachelors when they were given a chance to vote someone off, but because he was already safe, the overwhelming majority went to Juan, the phony, fake-sensitive guy who talks about writing poetry and told Jillian about her eyes being so green and piercing.

What really ticked off David the trucking contractor was when Juan faked doing a shot of booze, even making a face like he actually did it, which, in the eyes of David the trucking contractor, was just one of the many times Juan broke man code "left and right." He went on to say that Juan should be tied up to a tree and beaten. Jillian, if this guy orders you a shot, we suggest you drink it.

Be on the look-out for these boys to square off in testosterone fueled, jealous, drunken, shirtless showdowns on episode three and beyond. Starpulse will be here to bring you the recaps on that action, but right now the Bachelors are making the men here at the Starpulse office feel very self-conscious, so if you need us, we'll be in the gym doing crunches.

Are you watching "The Bachelorette?" What did you think of the latest episode? Let us know in the comments!

Matthew Swanson
Story by Matthew J. Swanson

Starpulse contributing writer




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