The Best Songs About Girls From A To Z, Part 2
N: Darling Nikki by Prince because, if you will recall, all her masturbating with a magazine got Tipper Gore's panties all in a bunch, which in turn prompted the Explicit Lyrics stickers.
O: Ophelia by The Band. Pretty cool song, but mostly because there weren't many "O's."
P: Poison by Bell Biv Devoe. If there's one thing my upbringing taught me, it is to never, ever, under any circumstances, "trust a big butt and a smile."
Q: Queen Bitch by David Bowie. Q also proved difficult, but this song is kind of a fun, little rocker. However, judging by the lyrics, the song may be about a "swishy" man. Ah, to hell with it. If you are a man, Queen Bitch, you go girl! Let's just move onto R.
R: Roxanne by The Police is a great song, but it's about a straight-up hooker. Instead, I'm going with Rosanna by Toto, and I'll tell you why. "Rosanna" was written about Rosanna Arquette, who was, at the time, dating the keyboardist. However, the song was written by another member of Toto who was moved by how supportive she was of her boyfriend, coming by the studio to bring the band food, etc.** For being that cool of a girlfriend, Rosanna Arquette, you get the honor of holding down the R slot on my meaningless list. Congrats!
S: At face value, Sexy Sadie by The Beatles sounds like a chick who evidently came to turn on "everyone," however as it turns out the song was written about the Maharishi.*** A nod goes to Wake Up Little Suzie by The Everly Brothers because there's no way that couple just fell asleep. Something went down that night. Either that, or I'm one of those guys who would have said "oooh-la-la." I also considered Summer Babe by Pavement for her mixing of cocktails with a plastic-tipped cigar, but I just have to go with Sharleena by Frank Zappa.
T: Tiny Dancer by Elton John because it sparked that bus sing-along in Almost Famous.
U: Unbelievable by EMF. She sounded good because unbelievable is a strong adjective, and I like the use of Andrew Dice Clay in the chorus.
V: Nods go to Veronica by Elvis Costello, Venus by Frankie Avalon, and Vera by Pink Floyd. However, I'm going with Valerie by Jerry Garcia because he shot his dog because he growled at her. That's a special lady right there to make a guy make that rash of a decision, and the song is quite good too.
W: Wonderwall by Oasis is a damn hit and kudos to Wild Thing by The Troggs, but I have to go with West End Girls by Pet Shop Boys.
X: Xena theme song??? That's horrible, I know, but I'm really drawing a blank here. Little help???
Y: I had gone with Yellow Ledbetter by Pearl Jam, even though I was pretty sure something that ridiculous could not be a woman's name. Turns out it's not, so I was left with no choice but to go with Yolanda by Reality. Not a tremendous song, but it helped me learn the vocabulary word bufanda, which is Spanish for scarf, when I was studying for a high school Spanish test in the mid-90s. You know, "Ohhhh-oooh-oooh, yeah, yeah. Oooooh-weeee, bufanda."
Z: Zoot Allures by Frank Zappa. This is a very pretty song, and I'm just going to assume that Zoot Allures is a girl's name, and I really can't be proven otherwise since it's an instrumental.
Story by Matthew Swanson
Starpulse contributing writer
** This information from songfacts.com
www.popculturemadness.com/Music/Girls-Names-Songs.html was also used as a reference.
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