Summer Vacation is over and kids are heading back to school. Imagine how strange it would be if your child showed up to school on the first day and the class teacher was absent, replaced by a celebrity substitute teacher like Lindsay Lohan. Instead of teaching, Lohan would be pouring shot glasses of vodka for the whole class throughout day. Lindsay would be on top of the list of celebrities you wouldn’t want as a substitute teacher for your child. Here are some other celebrities that would be on that list.

Paris Hilton

If Paris Hilton ever showed up to a first grade class as a substitute teacher, that would mark the first time in history that a bunch of first graders would be smarter than the teacher. The kids would be so much smarter than her, she would have to ask them what times tables are. Paris would be a careless teacher. While she’s sitting at the teacher’s desk checking text messages on her phone, one of the kids would sneak into her purse and grab a bag of cocaine. Of course we all know Paris would deny that the cocaine belonged to her once she’s questioned by the principal.

Tracy Morgan

Tracy Morgan would be a hilarious junior high school substitute teacher. He would have the whole 7th grade class laughing every time he shows his belly or jokes about how Donald Trump is his cousin. But the thing that would make Tracy a bad substitute teacher is his love for impregnating women. He would probably show the students pictures of all the women he’s knocked up over the years and demonstrate how he got them pregnant. As a result, all the boys in the class would copy Tracy and impregnate all the girls before the semester ends.

Lady Gaga

Having Lady Gaga has a substitute teacher would be a nightmare. First of all, she would scare all the children with her outrageous outfits, especially this recent beef outfit she wore on the cover of Vogue Hommes Japan magazine. On top of that, she would make all the boys dress up like female strippers. Not many parents are going be happy when their 10 year old son comes home wearing lipstick, lingerie, and singing "Poker Face."

Snoop Dogg or any rapper

Snoop Dogg is great with kids. He coaches his own Youth Football team. But having Snoop Dogg as a substitute teacher for a fifth grade class wouldn’t be a great idea. When the kids start getting out of control, he might give them some weed to smoke and relax. The principal isn’t going to be too happy when he walks into that classroom and sees all those fifth graders high on weed. Having any rapper as a substitute teacher is just a bad idea because a lot of rappers carry guns for protection. If the kids are screaming and running around the classroom, gunshots are going to be fired in the air to quiet them down.

Pamela Anderson

Here’s why Pamela Anderson wouldn’t make a great substitute teacher. The students would have to be her servants like the little girl in this picture carrying her table cloth dress.

The Cast of Jersey Shore

Every kid in elementary school would be excited if the cast of Jersey Shore showed up as their substitute teachers, but the other teachers and faculty members wouldn’t be too pleased. Sure it would be great for the boys in the school to see "J-Woww’s" boobies, or "The Situation" telling them why getting cooties from girls isn’t so bad. But instead of learning ABCs or 123s, these kids are going to be learning how to tan, work on their abs, and pick up girls for one-night stands.