How's Britney Doing After Her Breakup?

Celebrities We'd Like To See Stuck Together On 'Big Brother'

Maccorley Mathieu Maccorley Mathieu
July 9th, 2009 11:51am EDT
Celebrity Big BrotherThe 11th season of CBS'S reality show Big Brother premieres tonight. The show features a group of strangers who live in a house together for a couple of months and are isolated from the outside world. Every word they say and every move they make is caught on camera as millions of viewers watch them on television.

Wouldn't it be a great idea to have some of our favorite and least favorite celebrities live in a house together for two months to watch how they would get along with each other? Check out eight celebrities we'd love to see locked in a house together:

Kanye West - Musical genius; Many think he's a self absorbed narcissist

Lindsay Lohan - Scandal queen; She's done it all - movies, drugs and alcohol, and girls

Paris Hilton - Socialite; Has a new boyfriend every three months

Miley Cyrus - Disney diva; May be headed in the same path as Britney Spears

Simon Cowell - American Idol judge; Some Idol fans thinks he's an A-Hole

Dr. Phil - Mr. Know it all; If you need advice, he's got it

Tracy Morgan - Actor/Comedian; Very funny guy who always wants to get someone pregnant

Lady Gaga - The new Madonna; Unique fashion sense and butterface

Lindsay Lohan

Image © PRN / PR Photos



Day 1

All of the eight celebrities arrive to the house in limos and helicopters. Once they get into the house they realize that they won't go to any parties, club appearances, or receive star treatment for sixty days. Tears flow down Paris Hilton's face when she finds this out. The rest of the celebrities survey the house and Kanye West immediately declares himself king of the house. He even takes the Head of Household room without permission. Lindsay and Miley run to swimming pool where they will spend most of their day. Dr. Phil goes to his room and unpacks. He's brought a picture of Oprah to hang on the wall for all the houseguests to worship. Simon Cowell shares the same room with Dr. Phil. Simon has brought ten pairs of tight V-neck T-shirts. Tracy Morgan shares the same room with Paris Hilton and Lady Gaga. He's brought condoms and threatens to get both Paris and Lady Gaga pregnant by Day 3.

Day 15

Two weeks pass and all of the celebrity houseguests have gotten to know each other by talking about their fame and misfortune. A close bond has formed between Lady Gaga and Lindsay Lohan. They make out every night and Lindsay admits that she loves kissing Lady Gaga's butterface. Meanwhile, Kanye West and Simon Cowell have become sworn enemies. On Day 10, Kanye slapped Simon after he asked him a question. All Simon asked him was, "Why the hell are you dressed like you're going to a concert in the morning?" Tracy Morgan continues to put the moves on Paris Hilton, who sits in the backyard all day tanning in the sun. Tracy shows her his book of fame which contains pictures of all the women he's banged, including a teacher back in the fifth grade. Dr. Phil has been eating all the food in the house and prays at night to Oprah's picture. Miley spends her time in the house writing in her Hannah Montana diary. She mainly writes about how she misses all three of the Jonas brothers.

Day 30

The celebrities have been in the house for a month and tensions are mounting. Many of the celebrity houseguests are annoyed by Kanye West's claims of being Black Jesus. Miley has developed a crush on Kanye. She walks around in her "Hannah Montana" underwear to get his attention, but Kanye doesn't care about anyone in the house except for himself. Dr. Phil has had sit down talks with Lindsay to encourage her to eat. Since Lindsay has been in the house, the only thing she's eaten is crushed ice.

Day 45

The inevitable happens. Tracy Morgan is evicted out of the house after he finally impregnates Paris Hilton. Paris doesn't mind since it's a trend in Hollywood to have a black baby. Lindsay Lohan has been out of control lately. She's been showing the houseguests a trick she learned from her ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson - how to use the toilet standing up. Lohan and Lady Gaga have ended their showmance. Lady Gaga and Simon became intimate until Simon labeled her outfits, "The worst outfits in the world." Kanye continues to spread his madness by giving Miley tips on how to rule the world.

Day 60

The last day finally arrives for the celebrity houseguests to leave the house. All say their goodbyes and exit the house they've been trapped in for two months. Paris Hilton leaves with a black baby. Dr. Phil leaves forty pounds heavier. Simon leaves with his dignity and tight T-shirts. Kanye leaves the house and sets his sights on being king of the world. Miley leaves to do another Hannah Montana movie and possibly pose for Playboy in two years. Lindsay and Lady Gaga leave the house as best friends and booty calls.

Maccorley Mathieu
Story by Maccorley Mathieu

Starpulse contributing writer