Dear Kardashian Sisters,

Somehow (cough, Kris Jenner) you have successfully figured out how to work the media - either that or you are paying someone over at Life and Style. However, we are not quite sure how you have turned a few major mishaps into national news.

Kim makes a sex tape and lands a workout video (we could make a joke about camera angles here, but we won't), Kourtney gets drunk and makes a few interesting choices with an ex boyfriend - bam, cover of US Weekly touting pregnancy style. Khloe has a whirlwind (two-week) romance with a guy, and all of a sudden they are hashing out pre-nups and getting married with (conveniently enough) the E! cameras around.

Typing all of the K's have made us dizzy...need a moment.

All of this has skyrocketed them to stardom and made them celebrities seemingly overnight. What's next? Kendall and Kylie teaching pole dancing classes at Krunch gym (right, sorry..Crunch with a C)?

Kim's butt is not fake, she fits into her jeans by Sunday, Kim and Reggie broke up, they are now buying a house together, she wants 10 kids by 30.

Khloe lost weight, her sisters called her fat, she's marrying some guy who plays basketball (no, not that one - he dumped her), she's signing a pre-nup that gives her luxury cars for life, she can't figure out where to go on her honeymoon because she doesn't know her husband well enough to go on a vacation with him.

Kourtney is pregnant (hey, did you hear that Kourtney is pregnant?), Kourtney is pregnant...oh, and wait, did you know she was pregnant?

Enough, we get it. Someone needs to put a ban on the Ks for a while (you can include Kanye West in those too, if you like). Media blackout, please?

Thanks!

Image © PR Photos

Story by Kristen Schoels

Starpulse contributing writer