'Supernatural' Recap: The Miseducation Of Castiel
Meanwhile, Sam and Dean are stuck on a wild goose chase. They are hot on Castiel's trail but cannot pin him down. The case finally gains much-needed momentum when a freelancing reaper that's about as inconspicuous as Shaquille O'Neal at a jockey convention makes the mistake of following the Winchesters. They make him, truss him up like a turkey and torture him. Are you sensing a theme in his episode? Maurice spills the details: Naomi's dead, and her protégé has risen in her place. His name is Bartholomew, and he looks like a cross between Sam's friend Brady from "The Devil You Know" and Agent Smith from The Matrix movies. He's a cunning angel that has enlisted the help of a popular religious podcaster named Rev. Buddy Boyle to compel his God-fearing followers to let the angels in when "they come aknockin'." I was tickled by the notion of a folksy down home reverend happily doing the bidding of a group of rogue angels. However, this villian is painfully similar to that of the Leviathan king, Dick Roman, with the suits and the business-like henchman. To be fair, Bartholomew hasn't even begun to stretch his wings, so I'm withholding any lasting judgments.
With "delta force" reapers on Castiel's tail, Zeke can track them down using his "intergalatic, hyper-space x-ray eyeballs." Dean awkwardly calls in the secret weapon. I definitely think Dean and Zeke need a safe word so this is easier for all involved.
So Sam and Dean break into April's apartment to save the day, except the trigger-happy angel runs Castiel through with his angel blade, and bats the Winchesters around like beach balls before Dean avenges Castiel's honor. "Sam, he's gone," he gasps brokenly to his advancing brother. Except it's not Sam who is approaching Castiel, eyes full of intention, back ramrod straight. It's Ezekiel. He, like Sam, is still a work-in-progress but he heals Castiel completely and promptly passes out.
Only on "Supernatural" do you get yelled at for dying. "Never do that again!" Dean barks. Our Cas is obviously confused: "I know she stabbed me, but I don't appear to be dead." Dean, who's been flailing more than ever to keep the lies straight, struggles. "You got dinged," he tells Sam as he wakes up. "And you...I made a deal with her, said she wouldn't get kabobbed if she brought you back."
"You lied," Castiel says. "I did...I do that," Dean replies. And he looks so proud of himself. I kind of want to hate him for the lies he's telling, the liberties he's taking with his brother's body and Sam's life, but then in the next scene he's slurping on his cola and telling Sam "I don't see half the nerdy stuff that you do. It doesn't mean you don't do nerdy stuff," and he's so damn adorable that I just can't (Honestly, Dean could slay a basket of puppies, and I’d still defend him tirelessly).
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