This crop of Boston auditions gave a lot to critique on So You Think You Can Dance. First off, Cat Deeley's awful Boston accent. It's always hilarious to have a French exchange student or pretty much any exchange student attempt to speak like 'a real American.' Just try the word "band" out on any non-native. That harsh "a" sound says it all. The Boston accent is even worse/better depending on who you ask. Although she gave it a shot, she's not going to go "beat up sahm smaht kids" anytime soon.

The dancers were surprisingly not crap. The majority of pieces that were shown weren't hideous, so either the producers did a better job or Boston simply had more talent. First to head to the slab was a dancer named Teddy.

Teddy's bowtie and sunny outfit made an impression on the judges, although his dancing was subpar. Why the hell did he get passed on to Vegas? The lack of technique was appalling, as was his choice of music. He danced to the same Jason Mraz song that Jeanine and Jason perfected in Season 5 - the dress ripping, make-out-at-the-end passionate duet was reduced to a bumbling solo number with flashes of contemporary "emotion." Clawing at the air and angsty arm flailing seem to pass just fine for Mary, Nigel and Tyce, but this kid either held back a lot or won't go much further than Sin City. Boo judges. Boooo. I wish he was at least forced through choreography.

Next up was B-boy Jean. He was sick. The judges leapt up out of their seats waving tickets. I'm sure he can squat two of me just from the amazing control and strength he showed throughout his routine. Looks like we have another Philip (Season 5) or Hawk (Season AWESOME). He advanced directly to Vegas. Yay judges. Yaaaaay. That was much deserved.

Following that was something I like to refer to as an ethnic explosion. Kimara - at first read it sounds like a female, but it turned out to be a talented black male. Remember that name. His leaps and technique were good, thankfully. Perfected technique is better to watch anyway. But the infusion of tribal moves and raw emotion pulled from something we saw a tiny bit of last season - hardcore African dance - was different. The challenge with Kimara will be to harness and control all that passion and energy in pieces like a pas de deux or modern duet. I'm excited to see an adequate pairing with him during the real season.

Enough of the boys - the ladies also impressed as well. Chunky, big-boned, or thick, Channing the ice cream girl was representing all the ladies that did not fit the ballerina mold. Her quads and hamstrings weren't just for show - a scene of her tumbling along the ocean shows her strength. Sadly, her routine didn't use a single tumble. She had interesting transitions and a fixed facial expression. The judges also called her out on the lack of facial expression (thanks Tyce) but she made it through choreography and into Vegas. How did Teddy the bowtied-whimsy get fast tracked to Vegas and Channing had to sweat it out? I anticipate big things from her if and only if she can sharpen her technique and pull her feelings out onto her face, a la Kayla from this past season.

Some hopefuls and hopeless dancers that did not make it to Vegas include: the big tall 18 year old tapping monster that showed nice footwork attached to a 6'8" frame, a chubby but determined pop-and-locker that withdrew due to an ankle injury, and a 40+ year old man that wore blue spandex pants. Smurf tights man needs to see a counselor that specializes in making those with anorexia realize that they do look too skinny instead of chubby. There must be a disorder akin to that - where one sees oneself dance and thinks "Baryshnikov" instead of the reality of the situation, Smurf tights man. He was polite…so that might count for something.

A few others made it through to Vegas after choreography, including a krumper named Russell, a married couple that did a very tight salsa routine (but was it tight because it wasn't challenging?), and Gene. Oh Gene, the male salsa (salsa?) dancer whose hips gyrated half as much as his eyebrows. Tyce put it very succinctly when he called the facial expression "desperate." A little Channing plus a little Gene and you get some acceptable levels of expression.

Next week the auditions, that do end, I promise, will be in Atlanta. Hopefully there's a rough cut of "Tardy for the Party" for some poor soul to seize along to.

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Story by Kate Kostal

Starpulse contributing writer