Stars Who Were Probably Abducted
Some deeply emotional and likely nutty artists still find success. We see them on E!, watch them in the theaters, and tell our friends we'd give anything to be like or be with them. They've beaten the odds, but still have one strong link with those out there struggling - all have a streak of irrational thought and overinflated confidence that pushed them to pursue their dreams, thinking they'll get that big break so many others are chasing after. They need those tools in the fight to land it.
Go ahead, pursue! But at times the ability to play pretend for a living, swim in a deep pool of confidence, and take artistic liberties can turn an actor into a celebrity we stop recognizing as a human with both feet on the ground. Behavior becomes eccentric, sound bytes are unintelligible, and VH1 can now produce a full hour of celebrity countdowns thanks to them. Margot Kidder's rampage through a stranger's home comes to mind, as do the following celebrities that may own passports from other planets. My favorite zany personalities are to follow, edited for popular content (artists of Dadaism are obviously exempt):
Anne Heche. Remember her? Straight. No, wait, gay. No - wait, straight again. Flip-flopping alone isn't going to push her into a grey area of not-so-normal behavior. Her star rose quickly as she dated gay celebrity trailblazer Ellen DeGeneres, and soon media attention was cast on her - without this, I'm almost certain her bizarre behavior may have slipped by unnoticed. So, thank you Ellen! Post-lesbian relationship, Anne popped up in Fresno pulling a Margot Kidder - disoriented and talking nonsense. Now, Heche has a sad past if you dig into her book Call Me Crazy, but when even she says her alto ego Celestia is directly related to Jesus and speaks to extraterrestrials, that qualifies her for abduction status.
Vincent van Gogh. The Post-Impressionist painter cut off his own freakin' ear! The honor killings of samurais at least took it to the next level - seppuku finishes one off with no real consequence to deal with - besides death. I shudder to think of Michelangelo having to explain his bandage to friends when he came back from the brink of his nuttiness. Induced by Xenu the alien worshipped by Tom Cruise*? Likely. During an earlier rejection he held his own hand in a flame, asking to see the object of his affections for as long as he could stand the fire. He sadly failed in this pursuit. Obviously, a man struggling to come to terms with all sorts of romantic rejection is tormented by aliens from, where else, Venus!
*Tom Cruise's choice of religion is off-limits at this point. His crazy, fake religion, filled with aliens…Too easy.
Christopher Walken: The vacant stare. The jagged speech pattern. The random appearance in that Fatboy Slim music video, "Weapon of Choice." Walken's the more realistic version of E.T. He's the alien we love but instinctively know isn't of this world. His ability to turn normal or humorous situations into uncomfortable experiences is pretty standard whenever he appears on Saturday Night Live. It's more than just social awkwardness, and audiences know it. Lucky for this Martian, he's found his niche with his slightly eerie, goofy style. My personal favorite spouting of usual banal words-made-fantastic comes from his character "The Continental" at around 4:05. Watch it with someone special.
Gary Busey: Even before his wacky antics and out of this world advice on Celebrity Fit Club, Gary Busey always struck me as being not just from another planet - let's just go for broke and assign his permanent address as somewhere on Pluto, the planet that was. One memorable quote that escaped from his mouth: "My dark side, my shadow, my lower companion is now in the back room blowing up balloons for kids' parties." Yeah. I can't list all the gems I've found, but verbal (and now written) reports of some of his best "work" can be found at this website. Busey's eccentric behavior can be viewed below where he freaks out some not-so-strange stars on the red carpet at last year's Oscars.
Any I've missed? Feel free to share below.
Story by Kate Kostal
Starpulse contributing writer
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