It’s another late night at the Daily Planet for Lois Lane when Clark comes whooshing in with boxes of Chinese food (direct from Bangkok, where the Blur was helping with some flood cleanup). Going through the mail, Clark finds a pre-wedding present from his mother: the deed to the Kent farm. But is it the gift meant to be a home or a dowry?
Speaking of the farm, a flash of light brings the evil Clark Luthor following his father to our Earth from the alternate dimension (last seen in Episode 10) where the Blur… or rather, Ultraman is the world’s most wanted villain, not its greatest hero. What could alt-Clark’s nefarious plot be? Well, the first step is using the mirror box to send our Clark back to the blue-tinted sad world where he stumbles across Oliver Queen’s funeral.
The funeral is interrupted by an angry, still-alive but destitute Jonathan Kent, yelling that Oliver Queen deserved to die for buying up all of Smallville and leaving him and other farmers without means or homes. During the disturbance, Ollie’s widow, Lois Lane spots Clark and pulls some kryptonite on him, believing him to be the killer of her husband. Clark convinces Lois that he’s the good guy from the parallel universe, and she warns him that now everyone knows that the green meteor rock can destroy him, and it’s become the most common accessory since the iPhone (assuming they have iPhones in that world).
Back in our world, alt-Clark responds to a text message to meet Lois at a potential Metropolis apartment, but when he trashes Clark’s beloved telescope as “stargazer’s junk,” Lois instantly realizes this ain’t her super-fiancé. Desperate to find and destroy Lionel Luthor, alt-Clark finds Tess at the ruins of the Luthor mansion, and she, too, pretty quickly deduces his true identity. But since in the other world, the step-siblings had a relationship that wasn’t exactly, um, familial, alt-Clark has an offer for Tess: Join him in destroying Lionel, then ruling Earth at his side. Or die. Either one.
It’s refreshing that both Lois and Tess weren’t fooled by alt-Clark for a minute, as most evil-twin stories pull the wool over other characters’ eyes to a ludicrous extreme. Although there’s still no explanation why alt-Lionel named the child, “Clark,” but we’ll let that slide. Again.
Back on alt-Earth, Clark goes home to the dilapidated farmhouse and is captured by his father’s kryptonite-carrying doppelganger, eager to reap the reward for Ultraman so he can re-buy the farm (where he’s been squatting) and get his life back. Clark explains that he’s not who Jonathan thinks he is, that he’s from another world where the rocket from Krypton carrying him as a baby was found not by Lionel, but by Jonathan and Martha Kent, who raised him to be a very different person than his counterpart. Clark says that Jonathan Kent taught him how to be fair and honest, that the only person who controls his destiny is himself. Shaken, Jonathan believes Clark, who reminds him that a home is made with people you love, not with long-gone memories in an empty shell.
At that moment, Emil successfully fixes the smashed mirror box and manages to pull Clark back to our world, where he races to Tess’ office just in time to save her from being killed for double-crossing the double (follow that?). The dueling Kryptonians smash up the office before Clark speeds away, leading the chase all the way to the Fortress of Solitude.
Alt-Clark says that he used to have a Fortress, too, that it was “an empty music box” without any meaning. Clark explains that alt-Lionel lied about its purpose, that Jor-El has infused the fortress with the wisdom and guidance needed to use his powers for good, that there’s a chance for redemption, even in the dark world he brutalized. With that, Clark calls on Jor-El, who instantly returns alt-Clark to his own rejuvenated Fortress in his own world. Well, that was easy!
Everything back to normal, Clark and Lois convene at the farm, where Lois notices her fiancé is wearing his father’s old jacket. Reflecting upon everything that the farm has meant to him, Clark tells Lois that he doesn’t need things to hold on to the things that used to protect him anymore, that his home is with Lois, wherever that is. “I’ve known we should be moving to Metropolis for a while now,” Clark says, echoing the sentiments of Smallville fans for the past five years.
And so, with four episodes to go, Smallville finally moves out of Smallville for good (although I’m sure we’ll have a return to the barn’s loft in the finale at least). This leaves a few milestones left, of course, including an inevitable wedding, the return of Lex Luthor and a certain red, blue and yellow costume streaking across the Metropolis skyline (not to mention the vanquishing of Darkseid…. C’mon, let’s get to it!).
But first! Two more DC Comics superheroes show up next week in “Booster!”