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J. Harvey J. Harvey
Starpulse Contributing Writer
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J. Harvey watches WAY too much TV.

'Homeland' Season 5 Premiere Recap

10/7/2015 8:35am EDT
Homeland Season 5 Premiere
Previously - Carrie, Saul, Quinn, and Max (MAX!!!) survived the attack on the US embassy in Islamabad. Carrie discovered that gnarly (I don’t mean that in the same sense as “rad”) CIA ogre Dar is in cahoots with last season’s super—villain, bloodthirsty terrorist Haqqani. Saul pretty much handed off his soul to get back in the CIA by ignoring Dar’s usage of Haqqani to bring down all the OTHER terrorists. Carrie was freaked by this and was also dismayed to have JUST MISSED a chance to have a romance with Quinn. As happens.

It turns out last season’s finale was foreshadowing the excitement l...

'Orphan Black' Season 3 Finale Resolves Issues And Creates New Ones

6/23/2015 9:30am EDT
'Orphan Black' Season 3 Finale Recap: Ending An Uneven Season
Previously - This recap ended being hella long, so just click here.

Well, that was fast. Didn't the season just start? Season three of our favorite (and only) clone epic is over and out, and I'm left feeling a little deflated. I'll say it - it wasn't their best season. It had its high points and actually started to hit its stride halfway through. But if you've only got 10 episodes per season...

The Castor plot was, frankly, the first big misstep on Orphan Black's part. They gave it a good try but either the acting was off (I'll be diplomatic and say that I'm sure Ari Mullen is capable of ...

'Orphan Black': 'Insolvent Phantom Of Tomorrow' Will Leave You With Chest Pains

6/16/2015 3:04pm EDT
Orphan Black
Previously - The Original Castor’s in London. Dr. Greasy Curls smuggled Rachel out of Dyad and replaced her with the delightful (and now comatose) Leda aesthetician Crystal. Jason beat Donnie’s ass.

Orphan Black continues their ascension from the ashes of that terrible rendition camp storyline, although this is still “The Season That Sarah Manning Got Boring.” It’s probably the biggest shocker the show’s every thrown at us because SARAH MANNING. Maybe she’s just out of story? All she really has left do so is figure out whether Kira is magic or not. Wait, Miriam Bowles does own another chil...

'Aquarius' Still Hasn't Found That 'Wow' Factor

6/12/2015 6:11pm EDT
'Aquarius' Recap: Season 1 Episode 3, 'Home Is Where You're Happ
Previously - Hodiak's estranged wife Opal lost track of their AWOL son Walt, and blames Hodiak for it. Drug-running diner owner Art Gladner was stabbed to death, making Det. Shafe's drug case that much more difficult. Manson slapped Emma around, and gave her and Sadie as a present to the engineer who cut his demo.

We're three episodes (well, four, if you count the two-hour premiere as two episodes) into Aquarius, and it still hasn't quite got that "wow" factor that we feel entitled to as tv-goers in 2015. It's a golden age of television. Has episodic TV ever been this good, and offered so ...

'Orphan Black' Recap: Ruthless In Purpose

6/8/2015 10:08am EDT
'Orphan Black' Recap: There's A New Clone In Town
Previously - Before returning to Jesus-Just-Say-It's-Toronto-Already, Mrs. S and Helena made up. Sarah mourned Paul. Clone farce at the school chancellor mixer resulted in Alison telling her mom that she's a clone. Cosima had a relapse.

The secret to Orphan Black working is having the clones interact as much as possible. Separating them out into their own separate storylines (shipping them to Mexico for instance) it just doesn't work. I get it, though. Tatiana Maslany must get fatigued shooting scenes in which there's two or more of her. She's not superhuman. OR IS SHE?

We're going to ha...

'Aquarius' Second Helping Looks Much More Promising

6/8/2015 9:44am EDT
'Aquarius' Recap: More Exploration Of The Pre-Helter Skelter Era
Previously - LAPD detective Sam Hodiak's working on two cases - trying to locate his ex-girlfriend's teenage daughter Emma, and an undercover drug sting. Brian Shafe is a young and brash detective that's been partnered with Hodiak due to his youth and commiseration with the "Love Generation." Emma has fallen in with creepy ex-con Charlie Manson and his band of hippie chicks and biker heavies. Sam's son is lured into going AWOL from Vietnam by Sam's resentful ex-wife. Emma's dad is in the closet, and being blackmailed by Manson with whom he's having a sexual affair.

The second episode of A...

'Orphan Black' Shows Its Comedy Side

6/1/2015 10:11am EDT
'Orphan Black' Recap: Vote For Alison Hendrix
Previously - Paul's dead. Sarah and Helena are free. Cosima's girlfriend is annoying. Felix tapped Rachel on the head with a paintbrush in a demeaning manner.

Yay, it's an Orphan Black comedic episode! It's one of those situational bits where several characters' storylines intersect. Much chaos is caused and hilarity ensues. A show about clones allows for a lot of humor.

This one's not exactly on par with the one where Alison has the house party, but it's pretty good. Has Cosima played Alison before? I'd go check but I'm still laughing over that HORRIBLE Photoshop job they did on Alison a...

Did You Find The 'Aquarius' Premiere Boring?

5/29/2015 9:45am EDT
'Aquarius' Premiere Recap: Mulder And Manson Make For A Surprisi
This is a recap, not a review. But when has that ever stopped me from providing you, my one reader (hi, Ma!), with my opinion? Aquarius is kind of a bore. Yes, it's nice to see David Duchovny (hi, Fox Mulder!) back on network TV. The production values are high. The cinematography is suitably dingy for a cop show. The music budget must be astronomical because man, did they obtain every 60s song you can imagine. A dude even gets slashed by a razor to "Daydream Believer!" But the goings-on are kind of a bore. In a way, the Manson component hinders the show. They're fusing historical fact with ...

'Orphan Black' Continues To Wow

5/26/2015 9:14am EDT
'Orphan Black' Recap: With One Episode, Season 3 Improves Drasti
Previously - Cosima got laid. Arthur brought Gracie to Mrs. S and Felix, and she later collapsed. We learned that the Castors' "glitch" is communicable via sex. Helena and Sarah busted Helena out of the compound's brig, but Helena (and her scorpion sidekick) left Sarah to rot.

THIS is Orphan Black. This episode was heartfelt emotion, committed performances (hell, even Dylan Bruce brought it), and startling twists. "Certain Agony of the Battlefield" was aces all-around. Maybe we were SUPPOSED to invest in the long game and wait for the wow? IMHO, it wasn't the best strategy. I have fellow ...

Spoilers Ahead For This Week’s 'Orphan Black'

5/18/2015 3:43pm EDT
Orphan Black
Previously - Allison's new drug kingpin boss is her old high school boyfriend. Felix convinced Cosima to go get laid. Helena broke out of her cell but killed a tortured Castor instead of escaping. Sarah and Castor Mark dug up a Castor baby but Sarah ended up captured.

The main question I was left with in this episode was "how does Helena reach that far down her back to slice herself up?" Is she quadruple-jointed? It's not secret cutting if everyone knows, Hel. Welcome to this week's Orphan Black recap. This week we learned that Mrs. S had a husband die and likes to dance badly but enthusi...