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J. Harvey J. Harvey
Starpulse Contributing Writer
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J. Harvey watches WAY too much TV.

Spoilers Ahead For This Week’s 'Orphan Black'

May 18th, 2015 3:43pm EDT
Orphan Black
Previously - Allison's new drug kingpin boss is her old high school boyfriend. Felix convinced Cosima to go get laid. Helena broke out of her cell but killed a tortured Castor instead of escaping. Sarah and Castor Mark dug up a Castor baby but Sarah ended up captured.

The main question I was left with in this episode was "how does Helena reach that far down her back to slice herself up?" Is she quadruple-jointed? It's not secret cutting if everyone knows, Hel. Welcome to this week's Orphan Black recap. This week we learned that Mrs. S had a husband die and likes to dance badly but enthusi...

'Orphan Black': Newer Elements Of Our Defense

May 11th, 2015 1:10pm EDT
'Orphan Black' Recap: Helena Throws Her Bucket, Helps A Castor K
Did she just throw what I think she threw? She did right? It wasn't a bucket of sunshine. It wasn't a bucket of food, either, was it? This is probably the most VISCERAL season to date. So far we've had latrine buckets being thrown, bullets being dug out of bodies via pliers, and lesbian dating apps. It's like the pencil that stuck in Rachel's head opened the floodgates of ew.

I'm happy to report that Sarah actual hits someone in this ep., as opposed to a lot of dazed cowering. Did the pencil thing scar her? Was it Kyra on Red X Rudy's lap? Where's the Sarah we know and love? She's certainl...

'Orphan Black' Clone Shenanigans Continue

May 4th, 2015 1:58pm EDT
'Orphan Black' Recap: Sarah Manning's Got More Siblings
Orphan Black episodes run at the speed of light. Whenever the "Next on..." pops up, it's always a surprise. I WANT MORE. I NOT HAD ENOUGH HELENA FOR THE WEEK.

Let's get up in this gig, as the drag queens say! When last we left Team Leda, there was a clone corpse in Felix's foyer. Because you can't just call a clone corpse removal service, Sarah and Felix bundle the dead Seth into the tub and prepare to get to slicin'. Unfortch, even these hardened street toughs aren't feeling chopping a body up. Luckily, Cosima has sharp tools for exactly that purpose. Plus, Scotty needs to accompany her ...

'Orphan Black' Castor Clone Havoc

April 27th, 2015 8:11am EDT
'Orphan Black' Recap: Brotherly Love?
Previously - Sarah wasn't thrilled upon finding out Mrs. S had Helena snatched and shipped. She also impersonated the now pencil-free Rachel to discover Rachel had a plan to kill all the Leda girls and snatch Kyra. Helena is pregnant, imprisoned, and talking to scorpions. Alison is running for the school board. And Cosima is keeping Duncan's clone cypher close to her vest. Or dashiki. Or cruelty-free hemp tunic. Or whatever hippy-dippy garment she's clothed in this week...

I'm a jerk for foreshadowing that I'm not going to love the Castor clones like I love our main girls, right? I loved ...

'The Americans' Game Changing Season 3 Finale Recap

April 23rd, 2015 10:10am EDT
'The Americans' Epic Season 3 Finale Recap: Get Off The Phone Pa
Previously - Phillip and Elizabeth thought it would do their traumatized daughter good to fly to the U.S.S.R. and meet her dying grandmother (um...). Stan is on to Martha being the pen bugger. "Clark" took his wig off for Martha.

With nary a punch, gunshot or tire fire, the last 10 minutes of The Americans' season three finale ( "March 8, 1983") were completely epic and game-changed the show AGAIN. That would be three game-changers (Paige knows, Martha sees the wig come off, Paige tells) in one season!

Paige Jennings is the born-again Christian who is going to be the ruin of her family si...

'Orphan Black' Season 3 Premiere

April 20th, 2015 10:38am EDT
'Orphan Black' Season 3 Premiere Recap: Girl Clones? Meet Boy Cl
Previously - Do you have an hour? Allison and Donnie revived their marriage by conspiring to cover up Max Headroom’s (Dr. Leekie’s death) accidental death together. The ailing Cosima discovered what may be dead Duncan’s clone cypher. Rachel took a pencil to the eye. Mrs. S let Paul ship Helena off to a gulag somewhere. Sarah discovered the existence of Project Castor - the male counterpart to Project Leda.

Picture this. The other Mr. Harvey has been curious about Orphan Black. He hasn’t watched seasons one and two, but I’m always raving about it. So he thought he’d give it a try. The “Pr...

'The Americans' Season 3 Continues To Crush It!

April 16th, 2015 11:22am EDT
'The Americans' Season 3 Episode 12 Recap: The Wig Comes Off!
Previously - Stan figured out Martha is the traitor. Paige continued to be a brat, but at least she has good reason. Elizabeth seduced that hotel manager to get info to intercept the bloodthirsty guy from Afghanistan.

Was the ending of last night's episode the best ending of a TV episode since...wait, did King Joffrey bite the big one at the end of the episode or somewhere in the middle? Anyway, when he took that wig-piece off and finally showed Martha just why the devil she keeps finding bobby pins all around the was television history!

This has been the best season of a s...

'The Americans': What Is Paige's Next Move?

April 2nd, 2015 9:25am EDT
'The Americans' Recap: Game Changed As Paige Finds Out The Truth
Previously - Elizabeth killed an old woman so she wouldn't talk. The FBI's mail robot was bugged for nefarious KGB purposes.

Well, they went and did it. Phillip and Elizabeth finally told Paige the truth. She is the daughter of deep cover Soviet spies. What she will do with that knowledge will definitely inform the the final episodes of season three. And, despite the criminally low ratings, The Americans will be back for a fourth season. I wonder if Paige will? *cringe*

Phillip is working at the world's worst travel agency. The wood paneling can't disguise this place of subterfuge and tra...

'The American's Recap: 'Do Mail Robots Dream Of Electric Sheep?'

March 26th, 2015 1:11pm EDT
'The Americans' Recap: That Time Keri Russell Killed An Old Lady
Previously - Martha falls for "Clark's" line. The Jennings' South African colleague brutally murdered the apartheid guy with gasoline and a tire. Frat boy turned bungling political activist Todd was allowed to go free.

The Americans is the series that you assumed would never involve an Artificial Intelligence. When you assume it makes an...anyway,I give you FBI Mail Robot! I kid, I did glean a little bit more from this stark, disturbing episode. Guest star Lois Smith brought it all, and her scenes with Keri Russell were like a really intense play. They should have just handed these two Emm...

'Girls' Recap: A Bathtub Full Of Pregnant Crazy

March 23rd, 2015 10:21am EDT
'Girls' Season 4 Finale Recap: Rough Birth
It's like the season just started! Although, it has been kind of a long journey from an unfriendly writer's workshop at the University of Iowa to a bathtub full of pregnant crazy in Brooklyn.

The season finale sends everyone off on strange new adventures. Some ridiculous (Jessa will be the WORST THERAPIST EVER. And I had a therapist once tell me I had fat thighs), some intriguing (Marnie going solo with much better material this time), and some that feel just right (Hannah and Fran getting together).

"Home Birth" revolves around Adam's earthy-crunchy-crazy sister Caroline giving birth. Th...