This week the crew heads to Bermuda and the men seem on edge and irritable in their quest for Emily’s love. Not only will there be a group date and a few one on one dates, but there will be a two on one date too- oooh kinky! Emily’s daughter Ricki gets to join her mom in Bermuda for a fun filled vacation and Emily is already talking about the next time she comes here with her husband and a baby stroller…slow down, lady!
The men pull up to the hotel on scooters- with helmets, of course. Safety first! The first one on one date card goes to Doug and we aren’t shocked. Alejandro cries that he is one of the only ones that haven’t been on a date with Emily- maybe it’s because you are a mushroom farmer! Doug is very nervous for the date and starts throwing out the 'f bomb' as the guys start winding him up to piss him off. When Emily walks in to pick up her date, she can smell the tension in the air. Good one Arie, Doug is like the Hulk! But he proves to be Superman when he tells Emily that he started a charity- you could almost see her uterus wink. The two sit down to write Doug’s son, Austin, a postcard in response to his letter her wrote Emily on the first episode.
The group date card arrives and the winners are Charlie, Ryan, Chris, Jef, Sean, Arie, Travis and Kalon while the remaining guys are nervous about the two on one date because one will definitely be going home. Cut to Doug and Emily at a romantic dinner and by the looks of it all the boys should be nervous because the sparks in Emily’s eye are only for him- or are they? We kind of want to slap Emily when she runs down her list of faults, which include being too sensitive, not working out (like she needs to) and looking bad in pajamas. Really? Wow. And his faults are being too good of a dad and not washing his girlfriend’s car enough? Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new Ken and Barbie. He definitely deserves a rose- and a kiss? Or not...
The group date begins on the water and the men will be sailing to win Emily over. The boys will compete in a Bermuda match race and the winners will spend time with Emily while the losers will go back to the hotel. It’s the red team versus the yellow team on the big bad waters and the guys seem like they know what they are doing. The red team seems puzzled as they announce, “Why are they so far ahead of us?” Stop paying attention to the other team and work your sailboat men! Seems like the football players aren’t going to win this one. And in the end the ‘Nancies’ take the win and get to spend the night with Emily. Arie and Emily get a little one on one time and they seem to reconnect on the sucking face level. At least he has the guts to kiss her, Doug! When Emily and Jef head to the beach we can’t help but stare at his flock of seagull aka Bieber hairdo blowing in the wind. Another awkward non-kiss moment happens and Emily seems disappointed. Ryan just seems like he is trying way to hard and honestly gives us the player vibe and we think she is starting to feel that too. We’ve lost you at “depth” Ryan and we can tell by the glazed over look in Emily’s eyes, you’ve lost her as well. She gives the rose to Jef and he looks like a kid in a candy store. Literally, is he twelve years old?
Knock Knock. Who’s there? It’s the two on one date card for John and Nate. Hmmmm who will go home? The boys look exactly alike except one is a blonde and one is a brunette, we’re not even sure she can tell them apart. The three of them jump off a cliff and have drinks on a yacht- it seems a little boring. Then they head into a cave for dinner but the boys can’t stop staring at the rose and it seems like an awkward dinner as the cave drips, Nate pronounces ‘quinoa’ wrong and the conservation goes nowhere. How about them Red Sox? She spends a little time with each of the men alone and ultimately gives the rose to John.
Emily meets up with the boys again for a little pep talk before the rose ceremony. Alejandro steals her away first because he hasn’t had any time alone with her…too busy with those mushrooms we think. Why the blue socks Jef? Seriously. Maybe because he already has the rose and he feels that he can dress however he wants. Emily seems a bit scared when she is talking to Ryan like a girl at a bar that gets hit on and motions her girlfriend over to save her. Arie to the rescue! Then Ryan makes a few snide comments that make it seem like he is only using her for the opportunity to be the next Bachelor.
Chris pulls Doug aside after he tells Emily that even though he is young, he is ready to be a husband and father. He asks Doug why he is a better man for Emily and he tells Chris that he is insecure and immature. We can clearly see the age difference now. Chris is trying to beat Doug down but it is coming out of nowhere and we have to take Doug’s side. The dreaded rose ceremony is now upon us and the first rose goes to Sean. Unfortunately the men that are leaving us tonight are Charlie and Michael. Emily keeps Alejandro- somebody is craving portabellas. Tune in next week for more drama than The Bachelor!