Mr. Adam Monk is a monkey (yes, an actual monkey) who picks stocks for the Chicago Sun-Times and usually gets better returns than the well trained human beings who run most Wall Street mutual funds. Keep this in mind because in my home state of New York working for the state government in an official and elected capacity almost requires that you have a B.A. in Low Ethics and a Minor in Criminality. I assume that to a degree, the same goes for most other states, including California. Given this, it would seem as though a monkey should be able to just as good of a job running a state government as anyone else who dedicated their entire life to public service as a politician.

Of course this remains to be seen and yet it might not be so far out of reach given that if you were to have stepped out of a movie theater after watching Conan the Barbarian back in 1982, the last thing you would have thought is that some 25 years into the future the muscle-bound man of few words who portrayed Conan would be Governor of California and that soon after that he would be writing IOU's to state employees in the most serious and legitimate of manner, but here we are and this has really happened - that's number five!

Number four is the fact that Arnold Schwarzenegger, the son of a Nazi, was actually elected Governor of California in a comedic 2003 special election that had him running against a porn star, Gary Coleman and a whole slew of politicians who spent the majority of their lives getting their hands in the mud trying to make a positive difference in their corner of the world. The fact that everyone else running was deemed unfit by the voting public over a man that most people know nothing about and who is most famous for having said the words, "I'll be back" is quite shocking by itself.

Number three is the fact that as Governor, Arnold released a video thanking the public, which isn't odd or unbelievably awesome by itself, but the fact that he starts the video out while holding a giant knife and then acts as if he wasn't expecting the video to start and then puts the knife down is. The fact that someone wasn't there to say, "Hey bro, you might want to think twice about holding that giant "I'm gonna murder you" knife before we start taping you. Seriously bro, put it down." is so stunning that one can only imagine the crazy things he must be doing when the camera isn't about to go on. What really happens behind closed doors over there? Does Arnold juggle flaming knives or does he always throw knives with 100% precision at apples that are being eaten by the staff all day long?


Number two is the fact that Arnold's love of driving the Hummer has actually helped the Green Energy movement. The Hummer is notoriously bad at gas mileage, California is notorious awesome about trying to have the strictest MPG laws around to help reduce the smog that covers many California cities and Arnold is totally awesome in his love for driving the Hummer as well as his love for making technology more environmentally efficient. The combination of all three helped the world make a huge automotive breakthrough and produce 100-MPG Hummers that can hold four gallons of gasoline while still being reasonably priced as far as the cost of a Hummer goes.


And the Number One most stunning and unbelievably awesome Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger moment is fact that even as Governor of California, Arnold hasn't slowed down and has continued to play the game of life like a true athlete, so much so that the Governator accidentally broke his leg while skiing in Idaho back in 2006. He then "walked it off" and waited out the Christmas holiday until he returned to Los Angeles to have surgery to fix his leg.




Story by Eric Stromsvold

Starpulse contributing writer