It's been awhile since an opening scene on 'House' actually made me cringe, but this was one of them. The episode starts with a man carrying a cross, obviously doubling the crucifiction of Jesus Christ, and he actually is nailed to the cross. Cue wincing from all of the audience. I thought at first it would be a movie actor or something, but no, the patient of the week is a deeply religious man who crucifies himself since God saved his daughter from cancer. Which means it'll be another episode of House vs. God, and the patient will provide all kinds of handicaps for the doctors as they try to save his life. Yaaaay.
Now last week new doctor Masters actually managed to win the audience over a little when she saved House's life during the small pox fiasco. Yes she may be too honest and self-righteous at times, but she's also somewhat charming in her awkward naivety. It doesn't quite have the same annoying smugness of Thirteen, so she's got a step up fro her at least. Olivia Wilde's making a lot of movies now. Maybe she'll need to leave the show for good. Anyway! The hospital's chairman of the board is getting married, so everyone is invited to go. Cuddy is still refusing to forgive House for lying to her, which continues to be irritating, because saying 'I love you for all your faults' is basically the opposite of 'except when you do it to me.' He's always lied, Cuddy, and you told him that you understood. Way to back it up. So House spends the episode trying to catch her in a lie.
The patient is losing all his teeth, but after breaking into his house it turns out he was starving himself. Maybe this guy wants to die ... just saying. He sure likes to take the abuse. He refuses treatment because that's what religious people do on 'House,' so they have to find a way around that to get him the care he needs. Masters even jumps on the manipulation committee by bringing his daughter to him, but that doesn't sway him. House falls back on the helpful lying to the patient thing, by telling the man that his daughter wasn't cured after all. He's angry at God, and lets them use stem cell research on him even though it goes against his faith. He does get better, but he is upset when he finds out House lied. Then he decides God showed forgiveness on him by saving his life.
Most of the episode is about the personal relationships, which is how the show has been for the last four seasons or so now. House and Cuddy fight and then he promises never to lie to her again, which is a lie and he acknowledges to Wilson it is a lie. Yeah, this is going to go well. Setting us up for the breakup already, huh? Wilson wants to propose to Sam again, but before that she asks him to check over her files. He finds out she's been giving higher doses of radiation than is necessary, so he and House think it's because she's trying to save her patients by breaking the rules a little. She swears she's not and is offended Wilson doesn't believe her, so they break up and she won't marry him again. Awww. Probably dodged a bullet on that one, Wilson.
Taub's wife might be cheating on him, only she's not, she's emotionally cheating with a man she met in her support group for cheating spouses. That is a little funny, come on, admit it. There's on real resolution on that. Chase spends the episode sleeping with every woman in sight, and Foreman gives in a little at the wedding to have fun and hit on a woman. So that's one couple broken up, two on the rocks, and two swinging singles. And Masters. She's probably too saintly to date. And that's it until January, it's the holiday break so enjoy it!
'House' is on FOX Monday nights at 8 PM EST.