In last season's finale of "Weeds
," Nancy was ready to get murdered at Esteban's hands for turning him in to the FBI, but she had an ace in the hole: her pregnancy. You know, the little baby we haven't seen at all since he was born and they got a nanny. One of these days they'll skip like five years later so he can be a character again. This season's finale was both more and less dramatic, and at least one character has shown a great deal of growth and change in the past few episodes and it is taken to the logical conclusion. Forget the fact the rest of the cast is kind of the exact same.
Pilar is back in their life and enjoying her control over little puppet Esteban. She sends a massage therapist to Nancy and plans to groom her into a perfect trophy wife. She has to break her first obviously, because Nancy has a tendency to go a little crazy whenever she feels confined. Pilar emasculates Esteban very well and invites Nancy to a party, as long as she leaves after a designated time, leading Esteban to get all "I AM THE MAN" on Nancy for wearing his deodorant. He's such a winner, Nancy. Congratulations. She still holds out for hope that Guillermo will come through, but that'll come back to bite her later. Silly girl.
Mary-Louise Parker as Nancy Botwin and Demian Bichir as Esteban Reyes © CBS Broadcasting Inc.
Meanwhile Adelita is a junkie, although she swears she only uses for recreational purposes, and half of her body has gone numb. Nancy totally gloats that at least her kids aren't junkies, but a word to the wise Nance, murderer is a little worse than junkie. We'll get to that later. They call Audra/Alanis to come check her out, while Andy has just proposed to his doctor lady love. She is wearing the ring but hasn't given him a direct answer yet. They are actually very sweet and almost believable, which means almost certainly she will die or dump his silly ass. Especially when they get home only to find that her Pro-Life stalker is there with a crossbow.
Andy turns and runs. Is this that surprising? No. Was I hoping that Andy might have matured and changed just a tiny bit in the past five seasons? Yes, oh yes. He says so many brilliant things with Nancy and comes off as a different person there, but then they stick him back in that 'oh wacky disgusting silly Uncle Andy.' Justin Kirk plays him as more than that, and "Weeds" takes too much joy out of cheap laughs these days.
Take for example the fact that Celia finds out it was all a scam from Doug and ties him up, and then she decides to become even more Nancy-ish and make a drug team. The team consists of Doug, Dean, Sanjay (seriously? WTF), Ignacio, and Isabelle. So apparently the show has decided to become a parody of itself by Celia becoming the ridiculous version of Nancy on that same exact journey. Remember when Celia was caustic and brilliant and utterly fearless? Those were good times.
Nancy shows up at the party and goes to make her graceful exit, but not before Pilar takes her aside to have a word. Guillermo works for Pilar, obviously, and told her all of Nancy's plans. She is way out of Nancy's class in this game, and blithely tells our heroine that she intends to kill Silas and Shane since they're pointless and this might keep Nancy in line. It's a shame Pilar never realizes Nancy isn't the Botwin she should be afraid of, but it probably becomes clear when Shane beats her in the head with a croquet mallet and then lets her float dead in the nearby pool. And this slightly weird, shy young boy we've seen grow for five years now has officially gone off the deep end as expected. To be fair, Pilar got him shot and he heard her threatening him and his brother. Plus he's been learning lessons from Ignacio in how to be a sociopath all season. Silas tried to keep him stable and be a good big brother, but it's probably two seasons too late. Shane's progression has been the most realistic and interesting on the show, but what will Nancy do with her little murderer now?
We'll just have to wait another year to find out! That's it for season five of "Weeds!"
Finale Grade: B+
, but only because of Shane's FTW moment.
Weeds Cast: Mary-Louise Parker
, Elizabeth Perkins
, Kevin Nealon
, Justin Kirk
, Tonye Patano
, Romany Malco
, Hunter Parrish
, Alexander Gould
, Andy Milder
, Allie Grant
Story by Chelsea Doyle
Starpulse contributing writer
Follow Chelsea on twitter at http://twitter.com/mustbethursday