" I have a bone to pick with you. Now I love you very much, especially when you go crazy on me, but the most recent episode was only 45 minutes long. That is at least 10 minutes less than what we're used to, and the shortness was definitely felt. There are only two episodes left, and I expect them to be excruciatingly long to make up for it, got it?
The show opens with Sookie dreaming about Eric again, and while it does establish her softening toward him, they're becoming slightly annoying. DreamEric is most definitely not Eric, and hopefully Sookie needs to de-Twilight
her thought process when it comes to vampires. That's all unimportant however since she, Bill, and Jason are coming home to Bon Temps and the town is a complete wreck. People are randomly screaming and running through the streets, looting has destroyed shops, and everyone has those giant black zombie eyes now. Hoyt and Jessica are at Bill's house, holding back Hoyt's mom Maxine since she's gone crazy too. They manage to get a few details of the problem through that, and know that it has to do with Maryann and that everyone is after Sam.
Jason goes off on his own because this was a war he was really trained for all these weeks, and he progressively becomes the most awesome character on this show by the end of the episode. How far you've come, handsome. He comes to save Sam's stupid butt because Sam falls for Arlene's trap and comes to his bar. The zombies go after him, so he and a drunk Andy lock themselves in the freezer. The zombies, led by a surprisingly smart Terry, plan to keep him there until Maryann can come pick him up, but Jason comes in and threatens Arlene with a nail gun. Most of them laugh because they love violence, but Terry remembers her through his zombie haze and agrees to get everyone out of the bar.
This lasts like two seconds before they come in again, and Sam willingly gives himself up to spare the others. Then Jason and Andy play a Dread Pirate Roberts game on the zombies, meaning Jason pretends to be this God they are waiting for, and Sam says 'smite me!' So GodJason does, and Sam shifts into a fly. Wahoo! The zombies go off in triumph, and now two more people know what Sam is. Good, maybe he can actually bond with someone over it other than Sookie. Sam needs more friends. It needs to be said this is one of the funniest moments in "True Blood" history.
Meanwhile Sookie and Bill go back to her house which is officially creepy now, since it's now all gothic garden with branches and flowers everywhere inside. And a huge altar outside with meat and flowers. Brrrr, creepy. Maryann's at her sexy evil best, and Bill gets poisoned the second he bites her. It is Sookie who somehow manages to zap Maryann with a new power, and she is like 'WTF are you?!' as they run away. Is this Sookie's telepath power showing in a new way, or something we haven't seen yet? If you've read the books, you probably already have an idea.
Bill and Sookie go to Lafayette's house where Tara is still a mindless zombie. Let's just say that the acting from everyone in this scene is phenomenal, as Sookie and Bill work together to try to break Maryann's influence over her. It works, but it won't be happy for Tara, who might remember everything she's done now and have to live with it. She sobs her heart out and hugs Sookie, her mom, and Lafayette. Poor Tara.
Bill realizes that he read something about Maryann's kind before, but he has no idea how to stop her. He promises Sookie he'll be back but he knows a vampire that could help them. She has to stay behind. Then somehow Bill gets his cocky swagger back from season one and walks into this giant gorgeous mansion where all we see is one bloody foot. Most people know that this will be the vampire Queen, played by Evan Rachel Wood
, but we won't see her until next week.
Oh yeah, and Jessica gets so angry at Maxine that despite Hoyt's warnings she takes a big bite out of her. Haha. Call her a vampire slut now!
Well that was an action packed episode, and although it did not really have the emotional punch of last week, it got things moving in a really serious way. It was wonderful to see all the characters united again, and hopefully they can band together to beat the Maryann monster once and for all. It'd be nice if Maryann's victims are the ones that destroy her though, like Sam and Tara, rather than the vampires sweeping in to save the day.
"True Blood" is on HBO Sunday nights at 9 PM EST.
Episode Grade: A-
Image © Home Box Office
True Blood Cast: Anna Paquin
, Stephen Moyer
, Alexander Skarsgard
, Rutina Wesley
, Ryan Kwanten
, Sam Trammell
, Christopher Bauer
, Carrie Preston
What did you think of the latest episode? Let us know in the comments!
Story by Chelsea Doyle
Starpulse contributing writer
Follow Chelsea on twitter at http://twitter.com/mustbethursday