Well, "I Love Money
" fans, it has finally come down to the season finale and what a long journey it has been for everyone. Remember the first week when Midget Mac offended everyone and got kicked off the show very quickly? And no one can forget the perverted Mr. Boston, the love triangle with Destiney, Heat and the Entertainer, nor the backstabbing and general insanity going on in that house. There was a marriage proposal, a food fight, a mentally impaired dog, and plenty of hook ups; just the thing to keep a reality show healthy! It is over now, and while it could be seen as a documentary of the horrible parts of humanity, it was also very amusing.
There are only four people left in the house when the finale begins: Hoopz, Whiteboy, Real and Megan. The fact that Megan has gotten this far is the best part of the show. She has lied, manipulated, and used her looks to get her through every step of the way; Megan should be named Queen of "I Love Money." Real and Whiteboy are still on bad terms with one another due to Real's insane obsession with Hoopz, and the show starts right out with a wild challenge. This is probably the most dangerous to date, with the four of them picking up a Krazy doll (from "Flavor of Love 2
") and crossing over a slim beam high in the air, throwing the doll over the side, and walking back. The entire thing is timed. Megan is terrified and almost falls off the side. Hoopz nearly wins, but she forgets to run to the other side. Whiteboy does it without fear and with incredible speed. He is the paymaster, and the other three are immediately in danger.
Whiteboy completely loves his position of power and lords it over the others. They have a special dinner just the four of them after Megan and Real confide in one another about their fears in going home. Megan is the Queen of this game so she immediately sells Real and his insecurity out to Whiteboy. Whiteboy is as plain spoken and straight with the others as he always seems to be. Despite his annoying moments, he has continued to be a strong competitor and stabbed less backs than the rest. Whiteboy does what everyone knew he should have and sends Real home for losing his head. Real is upset, but seriously, he sold Whiteboy out last week. Then Real is told to sit down because a jury is coming in. 12 Pack, Heather, The Entertainer, Toastee and Pumkin return to sit down. They will judge each of the remaining three one by one and will decide who goes home.
Megan looks at the returning people and immediately quits. She knows they will get her back for her earlier vicious ways and bows out before they can. It's surprisingly smart because it traps them all in Mexico for no reason, and she still manages to get the last word! Ouch. Whiteboy and Hoopz are left and provide the least amount of drama expected on this show. The competition is an interesting one: first they have to convince someone in a crowded Mexican town to give them 100 pesos, run a giant coin through a series of check points, jump in a boat and sail over to their house where the last problem is a memory one. They have to list everyone on the show in order of their extermination, first to last. Whiteboy flies through the first two parts with a huge lead on Hoopz, but his fumbling at the last stage leads her to catch up. They are only seconds apart from one another, but Whiteboy's order is wrong and Hoopz finishes first. She won! She won!
Whiteboy is a very gracious loser and congratulates Hoopz with a genuine smile. He seems more likable here than he has been the entire show, and it feels fitting that these two are in the end. They have been strong athletes and kept to their own side during the entire event. Everyone has champagne and celebrates for Hoopz. That is officially the end of "I Love Money." It is doubtful that the show will come back, but there are plenty of rejects from "Flavor of Love," "I Love New York
," and "Rock of Love
" to choose from so it may just be the start of things. Keep your eyes peeled for a rumor about Chance and Real getting their own show, and remember to love your money. Goodbye "I Love Money." You were crude and horrifying and very, very entertaining.
Story by Chelsea 'Dee' Doyle
Starpulse contributing writer