'30 Rock' Recap: 'The Generalissimo'
But first Liz has interns! Four completely overdressed frat boys who were once investment bankers but have now been laid off due to the economic crash that Jack says "Nancy Pelosi caused" will be passing out her scripts, fetching her coffee, and high-fiving each other "bro style" around the TGS set. They are eager, even if they look like they sauntered out of Barney Stinson's office, so now I think I know where I can find my new assistant!!
Liz has begun getting mail for the wrong apartment-- uh oh, I smell a meet-cute with Hammy himself coming up-- and Jenna dissects it to find out if he's a worthy suitor. The fact that he's a doctor, single, and plays golf (which according to Jenna means he's "not gay or poor") doesn't do much for Liz, but when the contents of his Netflix reveal a documentary on how pies are made, the church bells practically explode in her head.
When she heads upstairs, hoping "he's not weird looking," she gets the pleasant surprise that he has an ice cream maker, smells like frosting, and is, well, Jon Hamm. Cue the "I want to go to there." So naturally Liz begins opening the rest of his mail to see if he really is perfect (at least, for her).
Jack meanwhile gives Elisa's grandmother a special tour of NBC in an attempt to impress the matriarch of her family, but nothing seems to soften her hatred of him because he greatly resembles (like he's just a little less pale and doesn't have a mustache) the Super Villain in her favorite telenovela. Since Elisa's grandmother worked in a silver mine as a child, and her mind is now "squishy, like a Hacky Sack," Elisa feels it is best not to bring Jack to any of her upcoming family events. Jack, then, retaliates by having the Sheinhardt Wig Company purchase the program so he can kill off the Super Villain, The Generalissimo. Jack brings Liz in to write the script, and "coincidentally," when Elisa describes why The Generalissimo is evil, it is pretty much the summary of Liz' current story arc: he stole and then opened a young girl's mail in order to trick her into "giving her honor to him." Liz, though, finds herself just getting tips on how to win Hammy, and through his mail she is able to "turn herself into the kind of woman he would desire." She brings a fake "Lost Dog" flyer to his apartment with an evil laugh.
Liz, who is actually allergic to dogs, is also sporting what is quite obviously a brand new tee shirt for the Pediatric Restless Leg Syndrome 10K, a cause for which Hammy is on the board, and to which she obviously didn't contribute. Hammy isn't ready for dating just yet, since he still isn't over his divorce, so Liz gets yet another evil-genius idea from a past Generalissimo storyline and decides to trick Hammy to coming over by telling him she's throwing a big party... and then she'll "put [her] mouth on his mouth." Of course just as her plan is getting off without a hitch, another neighbor comes by with a dog that looks oddly identical (sensing a theme in this episode, are we?) to the Purina ad Liz had been taping up around the neighborhood.
Since there was no one on the set who spoke Spanish, The Generalissimo doesn't end up dying as planned on the "Very Special Episode" Elisa made sure to have her grandmother watch. Instead he drinks a potion that will allow him to live forever. Oh, I guess Liz didn't write the script after all but the Days our of Lives scribes did instead... Jack, who is now doubly on Elisa's grandmother's S-List because he is officially the Executive Producer of the show, heads to Telemundo to visit with Hector, the actor who portrays The Generalissimo (Baldwin with a spray tan and funny glued-on mustache), who went rogue because his job has made him rich and powerful (he can't risk losing his endorsement deal with Sabor de Soledad!). Jack tries to reason with him by showing him a photo of Elisa, and Hector explains if her grandmother comes to love his character, that should be enough, so he changes the character to be a bit more gentle, playing guitar for an older character, and looking at pictures of cherubic grandchildren.
Back in Liz' apartment, the dog won't stop barking, so Hammy looks for aspirin in her purse but finds a bottle of Rohypnol instead... so her plan has completely come to fruition but for the addition of the yapping dog in the other room. As he falls to the floor, already drowsy, he knocks the bag over too and spots his mail. It all comes together for him... but yet he's not completely scared away because the next day he shows up at her door with some of her mail (including a response to a complaint she lodged with Subway for the incorrect use of "who" and "whom" in their ads), and based on it, he would have wanted to meet her. "Really?" She asks... and so do I.
Jack's plan, though, worked... for the time being. Though Elisa's grandmother is thrilled with the changes he made to her favorite soap, she now claims the news is "too sad," and since he's such a big, important TV star, he should be able to do something about that.
In slightly less important events, Tracy parties with the new interns and finds he can't quite hack it with the white boys who "don't mess around" with their Scotch-filled all-nighters, but he has a rep to maintain, so he goes out night after night with them, downing flaming shots and popping Roofies. When he can't take it anymore, he decides to donate his own money to reopen the bank for which these four interns worked so they can go back to their real jobs and leave him alone.
Best lines of the night:
Jack: "In Puerto Rico elderly women are held at a very high esteem. [Pause] You should go there, Lemon."
Jack: "Elisa and I have enough obstacles: our work schedules, our cultures, her adorably broken English."
Elisa: "Metrocards are a real thing, Jack!"
Jenna: "Drug him? No, Liz, having been on both sides of that, I can tell you it's never a good idea."
By Danielle Turchiano
30 Rock Cast: Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, Tracy Morgan, Jane Krakowski, Scott Adsit, Jack McBrayer, Judah Friedlander, Chris Parnell, Maulik Pancholy, Lonny Ross, Keith Powell, Katrina Bowden, more
Story by Danielle Turchiano
Starpulse contributing writer
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