After "Beating Tanner" and "Rut's Show," we now finally have "Adam's Show," which lets Top Gear master of destruction Adam Ferrara take the wheel of the program (thanks to "a few compromising photos I found," he quips).
Adam starts off his show by introducing the audience to the 1966 Ford GT40 - and not just any GT40, but the specific GT40 which may be "one of the most important cars in American automotive history" due to its piece of racing history and happens to be worth more than eight million dollars. He's excited to drive it, but he's only allowed to go a whopping six feet. So what's a gearhead to do? Find a replica and drive that. It's impossible not to share in Adam's glee.
But he's not done yet. He's arranged a race against Rutledge, who rolls up in a Ferrari, the same brand that the original GT40 put in its place decades ago. "It's so wrong that someone loaned him that car. It's like handing a rocket launcher to an insane person," Rut reflects while waiting for the start. Needless to say, Adam wins and he gloats. This leads Rut to suggest an endurance race: starting at opposite sides of the track, trying to catch each other. This ends abruptly when Adam stumbles out of the car after dealing with the Ford replica's exhaust issues.
Tanner crashes the party then and suggests they break the tie by seeing which vehicle has the fastest lap time - which he gets to set, of course. The Ferrari clocks in at 1:54, and the Ford does 1:49.66, while Rutledge goes deaf and then accuses his co-hosts of rigging the whole thing.
The next thing on Adam's to-do list involves his favorite sport, football, which he claims neither of his colleagues know anything about. To solve that problem, Adam's created "car football." His Trans Am is the "quarterback," launching balls to the "wide receiver" vehicles driven by Rut and Tanner via an air cannon. This almost seems like a good idea, until he tries firing the cannon and the football doesn't end up anywhere near either of his intended targets. And to make matters worse, Adam has actually lined up competition in the form of local demolition-derby drivers.
In the resulting "game," car parts fly, Rutledge can't understand the "random things' Adam calls plays, and Tanner curses a lot (but is understandably good at touchdown celebrations). Everything comes down to a goal-line drive with Rut as the designated receiver, and after two incomplete passes, Adam launches...a third incomplete pass. He decides to settle for a field goal, but with the Trans Am shot, must rely on Tanner and his Saab instead. Thankfully, Race Boy drives straight for once, and the kick is good, giving Team Top Gear the game. Plus, Rutledge and Tanner have to admit that they had fun.
But the best is yet to come. Adam announces that he's created a concept car specifically to deal with "all these morons" on the roads today - so of course, he recruits Tanner to test it out. The first scenario involves Tanner on his cell phone, at least until Adam unleashes the massive horn that causes Race Boy to juggle and nearly drop his cell phone in total shock. His test subject calls it "highly dangerous and illegal, but effective."
What's the car do to drivers who try to cut in? It's got a deployable gate with a stop sign - and if that's not enough, there's a bomb full of orange paint that explodes all over the other driver's windshield. For tailgaters, it's got a squid gun, which is exactly as disgusting as you think it is. "He's officially lost his mind," Tanner declares after that test.
Adam's top annoyance is "people who drive slow in the left lane," and for that, there's a giant rolling stamp that prints something inappropriate for print on the side of the other vehicle. Tanner is surprisingly not bothered, and wonders if he can get a giant stamp for a Porsche. He's probably not the only person thinking that.
After all that, "The Wrecker" has one last trick up his sleeve: those compromising photos get broadcast after all, and they happen to be pics of a much younger Tanner and Rut! (Disturbingly, Tanner doesn't look that much different. Does this man never age?)
Top Gear has reminded us of a very important fact: never turn your back on a comedian. You never know what they might do. But when that comedian is Adam Ferrara - the funniest man alive - it will definitely be awesome.
(c)2013 Brittany Frederick. Appears at Starpulse with permission. All rights reserved. No reproduction permitted. Visit my official website and follow me on Twitter at @tvbrittanyf.