This week, "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia” asks the questions: Would Paddy's Pub have more business if it had a Facebook page? Why does Dennis seem like a Facebook novice, when he should have long been using any number of social media sites to lure women down to the bang bunker? Is shushing just about the most annoying thing a person can do to another person? Can a man blow a sign off a building? Some of these are answered; the most vexing one is not. I mean, seriously, how has Dennis overlooked the woman-hunting power of the Internet thus far? Wasn't he on MySpace back when Frank created a profile? He's gotta be at least a Craigslist creeper, right?
The day after Dee takes the guys to a hipster gin joint that she heard about on Facebook, everyone decides that Paddy's could benefit from the Zuckerboards and viral videos. (How there is no mention of Greenman or Dee's old characters—Crazy Paddy, Martina Martinez, etc.—is beyond me.) But everyone (except Frank) is also sidetracked thinking about a guy from the bar the night before who dared to shush them during a regularly scheduled yelling session. Demanding satisfaction, Dennis and Charlie head out, determined to find this jerk the old-fashioned way, while Mac and Dee hang back and try to look him up on Facebook. After finding the shusher's photo attached to a profile for one Mr. Dylan Toback, they friend him and attempt to track him down via his status updates.
It's actually a bit surprising to me that Charlie, Mac and Dee are so into this shushing revenge plot. I totally saw Dennis' obsession with it coming (he was the first one to bring it up), as it was shades of the hippie who "punked" him at the dump in Season 3. But I feel like the other ones would have lost interest after realizing that finding this guy would be way too much work.
The story goes a little all over the place from this point, and while a lot of it's really funny, some of it drags, particularly in Mac and Dee's shusher search, which leads them from a scorned online ex to an old woman named Catfish (har har) who, it turns out, created "Dylan Toback" (among others) for Internet sh!ts and giggles.
Dennis and Charlie's search for "Dylan" is much more entertaining. When they can't track him down at the hipster bar (and the bartender is of absolutely no help and seemingly immune to the sting of shushing), they file a report that they were assaulted in order to use the police sketch artist's talents. When the cops get wise to their scheme (and thwart their hilarious attempt to cry rape at the last minute), the guys get a caricature artist to provide them with a picture of their villain. Dennis uses the sketch for a crudely-made "wanted" poster, asking RUDE MAN WHO SHUSHES PLEASE CALL. While they don't find their man, Dennis gets one of what I imagine will be many calls (at least until he changes his number) from a guy who just calls to shush him.
Defeated, all four meet back up at the bar, where they've foolishly left Frank in charge of making the "virus video," in which he attempts to lure people to Paddy's with promises of fun celebs like O.J. Simpson, drinks served in odd containers and a nasty computer virus.
Although it seems like a terrible day all around, fate smiles on the gang when "Dylan" finds his way to Paddy's. Actually, it's more Charlie's doing than fate's, considering that Charlie removing the Paddy's sign (and not by blowing on it) is what lured the indie douchebag to their little bar. As the gang welcomes him with open arms, Dennis gleefully instructs Charlie to lock the door. And it's probably for the best that we aren't able to witness the level of emotional battery that happens next.
• Yay, DIRECTV didn't take my sunshine away!
• I loved Mac's impatience while waiting for his friend request to be accepted. "Refresh. Refresh."
• Dr. Mantis Toboggan in the house! I hope the virus on that video wasn't The AIDS.
• I don't watch it, but apparently "The League" also had a Facebook-themed episode this week. Is this like FX's social media version of NBC's Green Week?
• Best quotes:
Dennis: "I could be a man with a fistful of hammers, a trunk full of duct tape and zip ties." (Sounds oddly specific, no?)
Dennis: “He did make it inside me...but just barely."
Dee: "Don't shush me! I will put you in the ground!" (Still, I can't hear the phrase "I will put you in the ground" in any other voice besides Jimmy Fallon-as-Barry Gibb. Put you in the ground...yehhh.)
Frank: "We also got donkey shows, Motley Crue and cake!"