Songs We Never Want To Hear Again On 'American Idol'
According to the judges, song selection is half the battle. You could have the voice of an angel, but if you're treating Simon and the gang to "Unbreak My Heart" for the millionth time, chances are they won't be jumping out of their chairs.
With that in mind, here are some of the songs we hope to never hear again on AI. Hollywood Week is coming up soon, so we hope all of the aspiring Idols are paying attention!
1. Anything by Queen - Aside from Michael Johns' "Bohemian Rhapsody" Hollywood audition and his stellar Top 10 performance of "We Will Rock You/We Are The Champions," poor Queen has had their songs beaten, battered, and gruesomely bludgeoned on the Idol stage more than any other band. Does Simon have some sort of secret grudge against the late, great Freddie Mercury?
Worst offender: Kady Malloy had us asking ourselves, "Who Wants to Live Forever" when beautiful songs must die?
2. "Alone," Heart - Many girls make the mistake of trying to show off their range by covering Ann Wilson. Usually, they only end up proving their limitations. Thinking back on Kady (her again) Malloy's mangling of "Magic Man," we thought about warning against singing anything in Heart's catalog, but Season 7 finalist Carly Smithson and Season 8 auditioner Emily Wynne-Hughes proved that it can be done with their versions of "Crazy on You" and "Barracuda," respectively. "Alone" gets singled out here because not only is the original hard to compete with, but also, former Idol Carrie Underwood absolutely nailed it during Season 4, thus making it doubly hard to make this one your own.
3. "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," Judy Garland - Although Kimberly Locke showed impressive range and restraint when she auditioned with this song, it's generally a showcase for drama queens and kings. And, no matter how good your voice is, if Simon slaps you with that "too theatrical" label, you have no shot at winning. Just ask runner up (and fan favorite) Clay Aiken.
Worst offender: Von Smith, auditioning this year in Kansas City. That was like an SNL skit.
4. Anything by The Beatles - Two nights full of butchered classics (with a few exceptions) last year was plenty, thanks.
5. Anything by Mariah Carey - Not only will the judges remind you that you are NOT Mariah Carey, but Randy will remind everyone for the umpteenth time that he has worked with her and that they're friends, dawg.
6. Any former Idol winner's single - First of all, these singles are all hideous schmaltz-fests that are forced upon the winners, so we're not sure why anyone would want to sing them willingly. Secondly, singing an Idol coronation song just makes you look like you're pandering to the judges. That rubs fans the wrong way.
7. "I'm Every Woman," Chaka Khan - Okay, divas. We get it. You're sassy and loud with a seven-octave range. Now, prove you have a range of musical tastes by picking a new song. This horse has been beaten to death.
8. "A Song For You," Donny Hathaway - Ok, smoothies. We get it. You're soulful and sexy, and put runs in all the right places. Now, run out and buy a new record. This one's broken.
9. "Unchained Melody," The Righteous Brothers - You all know this is Simon's favorite song. You can sing it well and be a brown-noser, or fail and unleash Lord Cowell's fury. It's a lose-lose.
10. An original song - Why bother? If you are the next American Idol, the fine folks at 19 Entertainment will be making all of your recording decisions for you. They don't care about your material. Neither do the judges. And the arm-swaying zombies flanking the Idol stage don't have the attention span for new music. Look, if you want to be the next Dylan, you probably shouldn't be on this show.
Story by Becky Broderick
Starpulse contributing writer
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