All that, plus somebody absolutely screaming at her group about how they're all holding her down, the inevitable searches of people nobody wants to have in their group (flashback to gym class), and the befuddled aggravation of the show's musical director. This is what Hollywood Week should be!
That's not the way the producers see it anymore, it seems, as the majority of the show was spent on the individual performance portion of Hollywood Week as the judges decided the fate of a few hopefuls who had the treacherous task of singing in front of a line of their peers.
This produced very few memorable moments. It's not good when the standout of the segment is a guy doing a pretty solid rendition of "If I Were a Boy" and the judges not being able to wrap their heads around a male singing this song. It's always been a ridiculous notion that people can't sing cross-gender tunes. They're just words. They're covering the songs. Should we start yelling at every preschooler who sings 'I've Been Working on the Railroad' in a class sing-a-long because none of them have actually laid tracks and ties? Of course not! That's why it's so absurd to condemn a kid for singing a song that's written from a girl's perspective. Have some imagination.
Beyond that, there was only one real standout amongst the solo performers who led off the solo portion of Hollywood Week: Kenzie Hall. She played an acoustic version of "Can't Hold Us" on the guitar, complete with speedy sing rapping that was completely outside the norm of anything ever shown on this show. She's just a tiny little ball of talent that could do some great things going forward. It's a performance that commands an immediate rewind on the DVR - cool, game-changing stuff.
She was about it for the memorable solo performers. The rest was a grab bag of belters, guitar players and forgettably good singers. This definitely wasn't a parade of performers worth consuming more than half the show with, when we had so many potential freak outs from the sleep deprived hallway kids preparing for their group performances.
No, we didn't get much of that - just a parade of mediocrity interspersed with random quips from the judges. Their repeatedly telling the contestants that they have to bring it, that they can't phone it in, that this is a huge opportunity - it's good the judges are there to tell the contestants this because otherwise they might not realize they're on 'American Idol'.
Even Harry was neutered in this parade of clichés: No jokes, no charm, no insightful content. He did use the word "intonation" at one point to solid effect, but beyond that, he may as well have been a Keith Clone on last night's episode and nobody wants that.
What we really want is the drama, the mess and the train wrecks of Hollywood week.
But we did, at least, get a glimpse of Keri Lynn Roche. The Molly DeWolf Swenson Scale is strong in this one. Enough to almost make up for another stolen Hollywood Week.