This year, American Idol has given us a lot to love and a lot to hate.
Sometimes, that has been embodied by one person all at once. That person is, of course, Nicki Minaj. The simultaneously irritating and indispensible, she’s the only judge of any consequence this season and fits perfectly with a show filled with so much to love and hate.
Be it hating the guys’ Hollywood week or loving the girls’. Hating some changes while loving others. Wondering why Keith Urban and Mariah Carey are there. It’s been a season of disparate feelings that just need to come out on this special day.
So, in honor of Valentine’s Day, let’s go over whose chances I love and whose chances I hate. All in two sentences or less.
An also-ran until she went all original-song on us at the piano and blew the roof off the place last night. Suddenly looking like a contender.
Southern Belle on her third run. With a last name that could become a new insult.
A standout from Kez Ban’s group. She’s got the voice to rock any genre.
Big classic soul voice with a winning personality. She’s got the chops and the likability to make a run.
The cute country girl making it deep in this competition has become as sure a thing as the cute guy with a guitar winning.
Another country girl. She’s not quite of the “cute” variety, but she’s got the chops to beat out Janelle.
I thought she was a lock for the top 12 last year. Not gonna change my vote.
This year’s Kellie Pickler. And I swear that was a compliment.
She gets on the “love” list on her name alone.
I’m pretty sure this guy auditioned before during the Cowell/Abdul Era. Even if he didn’t, I’m going to give him props like he did.
Curtish Finch, Jr.
Likeable gospel singer is a poor man’s Joshua Ledet.
I think he still exists in the 70s. And I like that.
If he can replicate that ‘Georgia On My Mind’ performance, he’s going to be tough to keep out of the top 12.
Get a guitar in this guy’s hands and he wins. I swear to God.
Smooth soul man who looks like he’s 55-years-old. Look out, Taylor Hicks.
Does not have the voice to justify the Flock of Seagulls haircut.
Get a last name, sweetheart.
I’ve only seen bad performances from her so far. Have no idea what she’s still doing here.
Hey! It’s the girl who met Mariah once at a summer camp or something! Spare me.
Dime-a-dozen soul voice from a mediocre performer.
The weird little kid has a weird little talent: Advancing this far in a singing competition without being able to actually sing.
When he gets over himself, maybe I’ll get over being annoyed by him.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard him sing, but he creeps me out for some reason.
It’s dead golden doodle hair guy! Something tells me PETA will take issue.
Too pretty for me. I hate him already.
It’s nice that he can confront his trouble speaking. Too bad he can’t sing either.
Has a chance at taking the title away from Phil Stacey for “American Idol Contestant Who Is Most Likely Actually An Alien”.
Adriana Latonio, Amber Holcomb, Aubrey Cleland, Jenny Beth Willis, Julia Chahayed, Kamaria Ousley, Bryant Tadeo, Paul Jolley, Vincent Powell
If you expect to win, I should probably have some vague idea who you are at this point, right?