So I got started watching my DVR’d copy of ‘The X Factor’ last night and an impending early morning had me not wanting to waste much time. So I decided to skip to only the actual auditions and couldn’t help but notice something: This show has a ton of filler.
I skipped ahead six minutes before I actually saw somebody take the stage. It was another two minutes before he started singing. That’s right, eight minutes before anybody sang on a singing show. An hour-long singing show.
And it really is all just filler. There’s no real compelling backstories. No human interest bits of entertainment. It’s just a bunch of wannabes saying all the clichés like, “This is it for me.” “This is my dream.” or “There’s no Plan B.” interspersed with crane shots of the crowd.
All told, that was about 20% of the show. 20% of the show is absolutely nothing. And another 10% is the judges praising somebody we know they’re going to praise.
The best way to fix these audition shows: Trim the filler and show us what we want: Bad Auditions, Good Auditions and Simon ripping on the lot.
Of course, we did get some of them. Here are the best and the worst:
The Best Auditions:
This was the super-fabulous tech support guy. I’ve never gotten a tech support guy who was very entertaining, and I’m certain none of them have ever rocked a faux-hawk. This guys a cut above the rest already. Especially since he seemed so pleasant.
Wait? I’m supposed to be talking about his singing, right? Oh yeah, that was quite good. His voice was a bit broadway. A bit too showy, but he was so well connected and his pipes were so pure that I didn’t mind all the pizzazz present in his vocal stylings.
I’d like to see the judges pull him back a bit as I think he actually has the chops to be a more rock/soul guy, but so far he’s the best we’ve seen in all the audition shows.
This was the tiny little half-pint thirteen-year-old who almost had a good voice. Almost.
Again, and it’s going to become redundant so get ready, new readers, I don’t understand the point of putting somebody so young on these shows. They’re just not ready. Their voices aren’t matured enough. They’re only ever good for their age, but not for the world.
That was present here as she was just about the best singer a thirteen-year-old could be, but there were still a ton of flat notes, a total lack of breath control and an inability to really recognize the musical structure of the piece.
Still, let’s not get too bogged down in all that: She’s about as good as a thirteen-year-old can be. So good that Britney called her “Miss Thang”.