A scene with Melisandre is shoehorned into the episode to get our weekly dose of nudity. Stannis’s wife comes to visit her while she’s in the tub to beg to keep her daughter away from Stannis’s future travel plans. Melisandre basically tells her not to feel bad that Stannis isn’t sexually attracted to an old sock like her and then denies her request. All because her bullsh!t magic powers tell her that Shireen needs to go with them. This was a perfect bathroom break scene.
Daario is sick of patrolling around Mereen like a glorified security guard. He tells Dany that he’s only good at fighting and women, so he begs that she let him do something he’s good at. So she orders him to strip. (Good girl.) Later, she tells a clearly miffed Jorah that she wants to send the Second Sons to Yunkai to kill all the masters, but he convinces her otherwise. Is this really the best use of her screen time?
When Oberyn comes to visit Tyrion they both make sure to mention sex and prostitutes. GET IT? OBERYN LIKES SEX. DO YOU GET IT YET? No? Okay, they’ll mention in 50 more times until we truly understand.
Brienne just tells a complete stranger that she’s looking for Sansa and is loyal to Catelyn Stark. Is she stupid? If she knew enough about the world she lived in, she’d know better than to spread around that information.
As much as it hurts me to write this: The scenes in the Vale were just as I feared. Don’t get me wrong, I still love the events as they happen and the potential for these characters’ futures. However, it wasn’t quite given the weight it deserved. Tyrion got three scenes spread throughout the episode to choose a champion. Even Hot Pie got more weight to his scenes when he was mostly talking about baked goods. The scenes at the Vale felt as if they were an afterthought to the episode and each scene was too short.
Littlefinger tells Sansa that she’s more beautiful that her mother ever was. Then he kisses her. I’d almost rather watch a person get cut in half than see that sweet little girl kissed by a lecherous old man. Sophie Turner is only 18 and yep, it’s too creepy to watch. Especially after he says he could have been her father in another life right before the kiss.
Lysa sees the kiss and does her best to scare Sansa. She tells her niece what happens to those who fall through the moon door. “The impact breaks them right apart. Like eggs dropped on the floor.” Then she holds Sansa over the door and declares “that’s what happens to people who get between me and Petyr.” Littlefinger saunters in to break up the confrontation after only a few seconds. The scene should have been scarier for Sansa and the viewers.
The special effects as Lysa falls through the moon door were laughable. Also, I wish they would have kept in the part where she silently fell because it’s far more haunting than her screams.