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Big Brother Episode 14: Monsters, Misinformation, and Memory

Alyssa Landau Alyssa Landau
July 29th, 2013 12:30pm EDT
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Big Brother

Part One: Terrible Gameplay Rears Its Ugly Head

Previously on Big Brother: a viewer advisory card appeared as further proof of the worst cast in Big Brother history, Aaryn was the most hated person in the house so of course she didn’t have a single vote to evict her, Elissa told Aaryn to get a life, and then the monster won HOH.

I didn’t watch the last episode, but I’m glad this episode’s pre-credit’s bumper was Aaryn saying “I don’t understand why you don’t like me.” It’s not like she tried to ostracize Elissa from the house the first two weeks.Helen’s mastermind DR’s continue to be the worst. She doesn’t control anything, so why is the show so hell bent on us believing she does.Andy thinks Kaitlin is the fastest to leave the Big Brother house. I think some bitter bastards from last season have that distinction.

Candice and Elissa are the only two who seem really upset that the racist asshole won HoH. In case you were wondering if ethics exist in the house. There are a lot of flashbacks in this episode. They rarely do that unless it’s showing what happened during a double eviction episode.Jessie told Candice that Aaryn made a deal with Helen and Elissa. We see Helen make the deal with Aaryn, with Elissa nowhere in sight.

This is a house filled with misinformation and no secrets. WHY did Helen, the mastermind, tell Aaryn what Candice said? Because she’s a terrible player!WHY did Helen, the mastermind, tell Aaryn that Elissa, her closest ally, leaked the deal? Because she’s a terrible player!Why would Helen, the mastermind, even think about letting Elissa, her closest ally, go on the block? Because she’s a terrible player!Elissa refuses to talk to Aaryn which is further proof of her bad social game, but I get a sick pleasure out of it anyway. Aaryn’s HoH reveal is the best since Boogie said, “Who wants to see my HoH room? No one?”

The rest of the houseguests hide as she wanders through an empty house. Too bad they made it seem like they were just being fun. Amanda’s clownie DR was so bad. Her acting is over-the-top, campy, and annoying.“You got me saying axed.”- Aaryn to the black girl and not to GM who says it 5 times a day. Candice is a speech therapist.Somebody tell Helen about the economy of words. The less that’s said, the better. “We have to get Elissa out.”- Elissa’s closest ally. This cast sucks at this game. One of the worst ever.

Part Two: The Death of The Bear Shirt

Enough of the McCrae and Amanda scenes. Why do we need one every episode? I don’t even think Jeff and Jordan got this much screen time.Aaryn has tainted the BEAR SHIRT. The bear shirt is now dead to me. In case you were confused, here’s the ___ of misinformation: Helen made a deal with Aaryn. Jessie told Candice that Helen and Elissa made a deal with Aaryn. Candice told Helen she knew about the deal and asked to please be kept off the block. Helen told Aaryn, and everybody else in the house, that Elissa told Candice and then Candice threatened her about putting up Howard. Then Aaryn told Howard that Candice threatened them and then said that it needed to be Spencer and GM on the block or else.

Everybody believes exactly what they hear and then they completely believe the new thing that comes out of their mouth. Worst game-players ever. Aaryn calls Howard a good man. How many times do you think she had to practice saying that before she stopped throwing up a little? “I’m not going to let anybody else make my decision.” –the person who promised that Helen could make her nominations.

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