It is time: "The Bachelorette" has come to and end. It's a sad day for us at home, because no longer can we guilty pleasure-binge on Andi Dorfman and her search for TV-quality romance. But it's a happy day for Andi, as she'll finally settle down with one of the two predetermined men of her dreams. Also sad for us at home (again), because Bachelorette finales clock in at three full hours and they're mostly filler.
Oh, and don't forget the other eliminated Bacheloretteers, like Bryan, Chris or Cody. They're here too, being forced to watch the woman they once loved, making out with and being proposed to by other men. Surely, that's some form of hate crime.
Now, let the games begin! For the final, painful two-day trek, Andi does a reverse hometown date (except we're in the Dominican Republic, and not anyone's hometown). She shows Nick off to her family, and amazingly enough, Nick actually seems nervous. And weird. It's actually a little endearing- now that he's completely isolated from the rest of the men, there's far less potential for Nick to act all douchebaggy to his peers.
And just like Andi did, the other Dorfmans immediately love-pile all over Nick. Maybe because he's just that charming, or maybe because he plied them with expensive-looking liquor. Either way, Nick is cleared for proposal.
Josh's time with the Dorfman is a little rougher, because Andi's constant judgment of athletes as bad relationship partners is something that extends to her close family (whatever you do, Josh, don't talk about sports). And while Nick's nervousness was kooky and endearing, Josh's is a sign that he is unhinged and unworthy of their daughter's affection, apparently.
So Josh is run through the gauntlet, an endless barrage of painfully difficult questions. Andi's dad even has the nerve to outright question Josh's love for Andi. A little on the cruel side, don't you think?
But somehow, Josh gets Mr. Dorfman's blessing, even if it meant a case of severely bruised feelings. The Dorfmans have warmed up to Andi's dapper sportsman, as they laugh and rib each other about how much they hate Josh (seriously, give the guy a break). Oh, Josh. You're blowing through these red flags left and right, huh.
Then, on Josh and Andi's last-ever ABC sponsored date, Josh immediately channels Joey Tribbiani with a well-timed "How you doin'?" It's official: he must win.
Their date is a picturesque boat ride through the waters of the DR, where everything is cool and crystal and blue and Andi is still doubting Josh's level of commitment, despite having absolutely no reason to do so. Josh may talk about marriage and starting a family every six seconds, but does he really mean it?
At least their post-date conversation is a bit brighter (even if these two are not the couple you'd want to hear deep, emotional discussions from for ten minutes straight- certainly not articulate, these two). And Josh's gift of a homemade baseball card is a nice touch. Wait... It's the baseball card that's convinced Andi that Josh is serious about their relationship? This woman is not stable. RUN, JOSH. RUN FOR THE HILLS!