In “When a Tree Falls,” we’re treated to the sight of Cam, dressed as a cat, being lured from a tree by the fire department. Yep, they went there, but it’s even more (hilariously) ridiculous than it sounds. Mitchell and Cam campaign to save a tree that is dear to their hearts (they named it “Treeona Elmsley”) when they discover it’s about to be torn down.

Cam, who’s called in as an understudy in a production of ‘Cats,’ must continue their protest when responding to Mitchell’s plea. The sight of Cam in a ‘Cats’ suit and makeup: Priceless.

Claire, meanwhile, agrees to chaperone Gloria at Costco after Jay worries about her “pregnancy brain.” Their trip involves Claire nearly getting arrested for shoplifting and Gloria getting out of a tricky situation by pretending her water breaks.

Alex, meanwhile, concocts a plot to get a bad picture of Haley. It seems the older sis has a habit of posting embarrassing photos at Alex’s weakest moments. So Alex follows Haley on a community service excursion of picking up trash. The tables turn, however, when Alex drops her cellphone down a storm drain… you can see where this is going…

Finally, Phil and Jay go to a birthday party with Manny and Luke. Jay has trouble making conversation with the other (younger) dads… until he realizes he can be a crowd pleaser by telling embarrassing Phil stories. Phil, naturally, takes it out on Jay in a boxing ring where he literally beats him senseless. Redemption?

Here are some memorable quotes, courtesy of ABC:

Claire: "You have another human being inside competing for resources. Look, when I was pregnant with Alex, I could barely remember my name."
Gloria: "Same with Haley and Luke?"
Claire: "Not so much. They kind of just hung out in there and let me do my thing."

Jay: "Here's something I thought I'd never say: I'd rather box my daughter's husband than my son's."

Cameron: "Sean Penn would play me in a movie about this. Or Anne Hathaway, if they wanted a female-driven vehicle."
Mitchell: "And who would play your long-suffering partner?"
Cameron: "Julianne Moore either way."