In “Diamond in the Rough,” Claire and Cam decide to help construct a baseball field so that Manny and Luke’s team can participate in the playoffs. It’s all very sweet, but it would help if Manny didn’t close his eyes while at bat or round the bases in the wrong direction. Oh well.
Back at Gloria and Jay’s, the mother-to-be has taken to singing to the baby through a strapped-on microphone. Unfortunately, she has no idea how terrible her singing voice is. Jay does, however. ("Papa'd buy 10 diamond rings to get that mockingbird to shut the hell up. But I wasn't gonna tell Gloria she was a terrible singer. That's just taking a bath with a toaster.") Eventually he steals the mic away to talk to the baby, which Gloria doesn’t seem to mind at first. But she continues to be oblivious to her vocals, screeching the national anthem at Manny and Luke’s game.
Back to Claire and Cam: They decide it would be a great idea to buy and flip a house. Phil seems supportive, but Mitchell wants no part of it. Turns out, Phil doesn’t either, but he doesn’t want to be the bad guy. He and Mitch go through some back-and-forth back-stabbing, but in the end it’s Jay who bursts the party’s bubble. They all decide it’s not worth the risk of getting mad at each other. Too late?
Here are some memorable quotes, courtesy of ABC:
Manny (to Gloria talking into her baby microphone): "Who are you talking to? You look like you lost your tour."
Cameron: "What'd we learn from A League of Their Own?"
Claire: "No crying in baseball."
Cameron: "No, that Madonna is a lousy actress."
Claire: "I have overseen lots of projects in our home. I oversaw the remodel of our bathroom under budget. Right, Phil?"
Phil: "Yeah, I was a little disappointed when you didn't go for the butt-washing toilet. Otherwise..."
Claire: "You can wash your butt for free."
Phil: "Well, that's not the same, is it?"
Phil: "That's the thing about marriage. You fall in love with this extraordinary person and over time they begin to seem ordinary... I think it's all the nagging."