'Modern Family' Recap: 'Arrested,' Imprisoned and Fauxconed
‘Arrested’ sees a literal arrest (Haley), Cameron caught in a fauxcon awkward situation when he feeds an allergic Luke soy, and the return of Dede (the wonderful Shelley Long), who makes Jay feel a bit imprisoned when he’s caught between her and Gloria.
Let’s start with Haley. She’s dragged away by the cops after resisting arrest following an underage drinking incident. Claire and Phil enlist the attorney they know best (Mitchell, whom it should be noted is an environmental lawyer) to help get her out. She does get out, but also must pack her bags – probably so she isn’t limited to a brief Skype conversation in every episode.
Jay’s ex-wife, Dede, meanwhile, shows up at his house unexpectedly. Jay tries to prevent her from discovering Gloria’s pregnancy, to no avail. Surprisingly, it goes much better than expected, at least for Gloria and Dede. They find common ground in complaining about Jay, particularly since Dede has “stabilized.” ("I'm sorry. I went through a bad patch there when I was trying to find the right balance with my meds. I recently discovered my cat Francis buried in the backyard. I'm just praying that she died first.")
Cameron is tasked with looking after Luke while Claire and Phil are busy. Sounds easy enough, but in his pursuit to serve fake bacon (“I make my own so it's not even real Facon. It's faux Facon. Fauxcon.") Luke develops a serious allergic reaction, resulting in a hospital visit (and flashing).
Some of the best quotes of the evening, courtesy of ABC:
Cameron (to Luke, who's wearing his hospital gown backwards): "Luke, the opening is supposed to be in the back."
Luke: "No way! I don't want people to see my butt."
Phil (helping Haley move out of her dorm): "Where are my keys?"
Haley: "Oh, they're right there on the makeup table."
Claire: "Oh, honey. That's a desk."
Haley: "In Legally Blonde, Elle won her case because she was true to herself and dressed cute."
Phil: "Haley, this is real life, not an excellent movie."
Mitchell: "It's fauxcon disgusting..."
Nurse: "What happened?"
Cameron: "Well, somebody gave him some soy bacon that was so good he couldn't tell the difference."