Because everyone knows that Kris Jenner is the worst, Kourtney, Khloe and Scott have taken to prank calling her as an “old family friend” every chance that they get. Scott pretends to be a weirdo named Todd Cranes, who phones her up at random intervals, calls her Auntie Kris, and makes chitchat until she hangs up. It’s their favorite pastime; it leaves them rolling on the floor, in tears every time this happens.

When they’re not pranking Kris, Scott and Kourtney are doing boring couple activities, like going antiquing. While out at a flea market, Kourt spots a coral necklace that would be perfect for CiCi, her cousin. CiCi is very sick with cancer, and Kourt wants to sign up to get her bone marrow tested to see if she’s a match. Scott has a peculiar affliction where he shuts down and cannot deal whenever the subject of sickness or death is mentioned. When Kourtney suggests going to visit CiCi in Las Vegas he can’t deal.

The Todd Cranes prank gets upgraded to a new level when Kim figures out that Kris and Bruce are out to dinner at a fancy restaurant. Scott calls the restaurant up and gets them to bring the phone to the table. Kris sounds audibly freaked out. He also sends her a glass of champagne, courtesy of “Todd.” They all find this so funny that they’re crying.

The next day at a family dinner, they all realize that Bruce has serious problems with his hearing. He can’t have simple conversations at the dinner table, or watch his sports on his MASSIVE television without the house shaking. They convince him to go to the doctor to get checked out, despite his best griping. It might take him a little push to physically get to the doctor’s office, though.

Kim is soooo totally excited that Bruce is connecting with his kids more these days, so now she’s hanging out with Brandon and Leah. Not for the cameras or anything. They get lunch and discuss Bruce’s poor hearing. They all agree that he’s being stubborn about getting his hearing tested because he’s afraid of being perceived as old. The theme of this episode is our fleeting mortality.

Speaking of that: Scott gets bombarded with tweets from a woman in Ohio who has a strange request on her bucket list – she wants to meet Lord Disick before she dies. Kourtney laughs because this is absurd, but it’s true. Scott considers getting over his uneasiness about death and fulfilling her wish.

But before he goes, he accompanies Kourtney and Khloe on a trip to a wig shop to pick up something special for CiCi. But he still can’t buck up and face reality when he realizes that they’re not there for fun – she needs a wig because her hair fell out from chemotherapy. He has much to learn.

Kris confides in her children that she thinks she has a stalker. Her friend Joyce Cranes has a son named Todd, and the man calling her is NOT him. This is a weirdo with a high-pitched voice, who won’t leave her alone, and is even sending her flowers. This delights Kourtney and Khloe to no end, and they of course don’t let her in on the prank. Why end the fun?

Bruce finally drags his cranky bones to the hearing clinic for his testing, and the results show that he, surprise, is losing a bit of hearing in one ear. This is totally normal for a man of his age, but the doctor orders more tests just in case the decline is caused by a benign tumor on the hearing nerve instead. DUN DUN DUN.

Now, Scott has put the sick woman in Ohio out of his mind because who has time for sadness when you’re being rich and fabulous, and is packing for Paris Men’s Fashion Week instead. Kourtney, kindhearted person that she is, convinces him that he should make a pit stop on his way to Paris and fulfill this woman’s wish.

Scott flies to Ohio and meets Josie, a woman who has been suffering from cancer since 2010. She and her daughters have set up a king’s throne for him to sit upon, and it’s all very sweet. Scott and Josie have a heart to heart about her situation, and he opens up about his own life; his father, who we never see on the show, is on the brink of death. He is suffering from Type 2 diabetes, along with a number of problems that necessitate a heart transplant. He may have only a couple years left to live.

Because of this, Scott doesn’t want to face anything that has to do with death. Talking to Josie helps, though. He has a heart, and knows that he has to get over his phobia when he sees all of Josie’s friends piling in the house for a huge party. If they can be happy and optimistic in the face of bad news, why can’t he?

Scott leaves Josie with his Rolex and a new attitude. He calls Kourtney from the car and tells her that he’s going to meet her in Las Vegas after all to see CiCi. And his heart grew three sizes that day.

Grade: A

Stray Observations:


- At the antique store, Kourtney and Scott see a stuffed cat that Scott promptly points out looks an awful lot like Mercy, the poor, doomed kitten that Kanye gave Kim once upon a time. Too soon?

- Best Quote: 

  Josie, on the Rolex: “I’m gonna get this bitch fitted tomorrow.”