Stern first asked the audience if they thought he would last on the family-friendly show. "These executives at NBC must be out of their mind taking a risk on me... I say I won't make it through the first show -- what do you think?" He asked as he looked at the crowd, to cheers.
Howard has some glowing remarks for a few acts. He told a group using glowing costumes to simulate prehistoric life, "We are the greatest country in the world. You are everything that makes America great." He then told a unique harpist, "I made my career out of originality - I bow down to you."
After a magician wore little in terms of clothing, Stern was quick to quip, "As a stripper, you can't have man-boobs," or a "rather small package." That's about as naughty Stern got, but not his meanest.
Stern quipped at a bird trainer, "If you were on an island and all you had were your birds, would you eat them?" He also told a booed contestant "Has someone in your life said to you, 'This isn’t for you?' A parent, maybe?" The man then told Stern his parents were dead, to which he replied, "Did they die of embarrassment?"
Howard also went on stage once, to hug a singer named Simply Sergio. The contestant started poorly with a bad lounge version of Girl from Ipanema, but then broke out with some rather strong opera vocals. Stern buzzed him out early, and decided to apologize later!