Heidi Montag has become the poster child for all talentless fame-seekers wishing for a career in Hollywood. "The Hills" star was originally a fresh faced roommate of Lauren Conrad's, straight off a farm in Colorado, and bursting with life in a glamorous new city.

Montag is now a Los Angeles clone gone the way of fake body parts, bleached white hair, and a possessed, wild-eyed look that constantly searches for photo ops and the approving glance of her Svengali boyfriend, Spencer Pratt. The duo just released their single, "Higher", a tinny, screechy tune harkening back to exercise video soundtracks sung by Alyssa Milano in the late 80s.

The music video, however, is the true disaster.

Shot by Pratt, who we can all assume never studied directing beyond rewinding a few parts of "Dude, Where's My Car," features enough low-budget beach and breast shots to last a lifetime. Pratt obviously aimed to bring a "Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue" to life, minus the professional photography and world class models.

The video elements are nauseatingly repetitive and bland. Heidi frolics in a pink bikini and Heidi frolics in a white t-shirt covering the bikini, and these shots alter between color and black and white. It's essentially a Snapfish picture slideshow set to music. Heidi then runs amongst seagulls, lies down in the ocean, stands up in the ocean, lies on a beach blanket, and gives a temptress eye to the camera from over her shoulder.

Montage never learned the art of less is more. Her wild gesturing comes off like a Broadway performer still trying to reach the back of a theater while being intimately shot on film. This video collects a tired sigh not because of its shoddy value, but because these two firmly believe there is a genuine interest in their "work." Their massive swelling, an edema of the ego, prevents them from recognizing the collective eye roll of America. Hopefully, they read their own press.

-Heidi Montag Pictures

Story by Tiffany Bagster
Starpulse contributing writer