All the Gossip Girl OMG moments were a little too WTF to produce overly compelling drama for this week’s season finale. For starters, with so many people shacking up these days, it’s becoming a little difficult to know who’s sleeping and around and who’s just…sleeping.

Jenny (Taylor Momsen) woke up in Nate’s (Chace Crawford) bed wearing his shirt, and not much else. Chuck (Ed Westwick) disrupted the sleeping beauties (who were just sleeping) and then carried on his merry way to the top of the Empire State Building where he was going to wait to propose his love (and possibly more!) to Blair (Leighton Meester). But, I’m getting ahead of myself here.

Also waking up from hibernation were Dan (Penn Badgley) and Serena (Blake Lively) who were photographed in bed by Jenny when she arrived back at the Brooklyn loft. Apparently, saving your dad from going to jail makes you turn to your former-lover now step-brother for comfort…in the form of a kiss. This news spread through the Gossip Girl grapevine fast leaving little time for Serena to do recon on her and Nate’s flailing relationship.

Meanwhile, Blair had a very pregnant Dorota (Zuzanna Szadkowski) chaperone her date so she wouldn’t feel inclined to go to the Empire State Building and hear Chuck profess his love. Unfortunately, her date took her to Brooklyn where she gave Jenny a smack down for messing with the “mythical” power-couple Nate and Serena. After she left the loft, she ran into Dan. As Blair began yelling at him for hopping into bed with Serena, despite claims that nothing happened, Dorota’s water broke.

As Dorota went into labor, Blair decided she would go see Chuck; however, the stop at the hospital made Blair a little too late. She missed Chuck and only saw his flowers in the trash.

Chuck had returned to his apartment where he was surprisingly greeted by Georgina (Michelle Trachtenberg) earlier. He began drinking and another visitor appeared – Jenny. She said she was planning on leaving, since Nate wasn’t around, but Chuck offered her a drink. The drink then turned into a kiss; the kiss turned into something else entirely. Chuck, who almost raped Jenny once, took her virginity. While the semi-incestuous relationship between Dan and Serena can somewhat pass for normal in my books, this Chuck and Jenny nonsense (and also pseudo-incestuous considering Lily’s still kind of like his mother) is beyond me.

Fresh off his romp in the sack with Jenny, Blair appeared at Chuck’s door coming to profess her own love. Chuck was ecstatic. Jenny left and took the sheets with her. She went to the hospital, where everyone else was hanging out – including Georgina. Eric (Connor Paolo) came to see what was wrong. Jenny was crying so hard her raccoon eyes were smeared all over her face. Eric asked Dan to come help. Dan’s form of helping led to him punching Chuck right outside of the hospital in front of Blair. He yelled at Chuck to “tell her what you did.” Chuck was shocked and appalled and tried to reason to Blair that he only did it because he thought she didn’t love him anymore. Blair told Jenny to leave the island of Manhattan and told Chuck to never speak to her again.

Serena and Nate also officially called it quits at the hospital. This was, of course, after hearing Dan and Serena talk about the “nothing” that happened between them. Nate also sent the Gossip Girl blast via email to Vanessa (Jessica Szohr); even though she’s in Haiti, she still needs to keep up to date on all the latest scandals.

A week later, Jenny decided (with the help of her father) that it was time to leave town and go live with her mother. Dan found out that Serena and Nate were officially over. He called her, but only to find out that she was headed to Paris with Blair for the summer. As he was going to book a ticket on Air France, obviously to tell his now-step-sister-former-lover he still has feelings for her, Georgina showed up at the loft. She revealed a massive baby-bump and claimed the baby was Dan’s. OMG or WTF? You decide. I’m going with the latter.

Still reeling from his (insert whatever number it is here) break-up with Blair, Chuck was wondering down the street drunk when he was attacked by some muggers. They tried to steal the engagement ring out of his pocket; when Chuck put up a fight, they shot him. Chuck was left to bleed on the concrete for the rest of the summer. As Gossip Girl would say, till next time. XOXO.


Story by Beth Wickman

Starpulse contributing writer