blonde jokes...not trying to offend...just looking for a good laugh!!

[sweetthang_14]

ok heres where you give your best blonde jokes to make people laugh! dont make them too offensive though!

[sweetthang_14]

ok, so theres a blonde who runs this guy off the road!
he pulls over angrily and draws a white chalk cirle, he tells her to stand in ti, hwile she standa there he slashes her tires, and busts her windows! he says that now he is even w/ her since she tore up his truck, she just bursts out laughing while he is demolishing ehr car, whats so funny he asks? she tells him "while you were killing my car, i jumped out of the circle three times...ha ha "

stupid huh(again not all blondes are like this, this is something i would do a s a brunnette...lol)

[xDollface]

Yell for Help

Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.

After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together."

The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together."

You've got Blonde

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is!”

My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”

Horrific Accident

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."

[Xing off the days]

Here's my fave.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stranded on a desert island together. As they walk along the sea shore, the brunette finds an odd looking lamp. She picks it up and begins to rub it and sure enough, out pops a genie! "Since there are three of you, I will grant each of you one wish," he says, and turns to the brunette. "You first."

"Well," says the brunette, "I really miss my husband. I hate the thought of having to live without him and him living without me. I wish I were home."

"Done," says the genie with a nod of his head, and the brunette disappears. Next the genie turns to the redhead.

"Well," says the redhead, "I have a job that I love very much, and I'm definitely on the fast track to success. I'd hate to think of putting in all that time and energy for nothing. I wish I were home, too."

"Done," says the genie, and with a nod of his head the redhead, too, vanishes. The blonde looks around and starts crying. "Gosh," she says, "now I'm really lonely. I wish my friends were back!"

[Long_live_MUSE1978]

Three girls, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde, are all applying for this job, and they all go into this interview for it.  This interview includes all of these random questions to see how fully functional your brain is.

But anyway, the brunette goes in first.  The boss who's interviewing asks her questions, and then he asks her, "How many D's are in 'Indiana Jones'?"  She says, "One."  He then says, "OK, you can go now."

The redhead goes in next, and the boss guy does the same thing.  He asks her, "How many D's are in 'Indiana Jones'?"  She also says, "One," and he dismisses her from the interview.

Then the blonde walks in.  He interviews her, and asks, "How many D's are there in 'Indiana Jones'?"

Well, she sits there and thinks for about 5 minutes.  Then she tells the guy, "32."

The boss, confused, asks her, "Wow, OK.  How did you come up with that number?"

Then the blonde goes, "Duh duh duh duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh, duh duh duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh..."

[cena_fan_54]

ok this blonde goes to a police station for a job. the cheif wanted to ask her a few quetions
cheif:whats 2+2?
Blonde:a...4
chief:Whats the square root of 100?
blonde:um...10
chief:Who killed abrham lincon?
blonde:i don't know.
cheif: well y don't u go home and think about that then come back when u know.
so the blonde goes home and calls her friend.
friend:So did u get the job?
blonde: not only did i get the job, i'm already working on my 1st murder case!

man that always gets me!!!!!

[cena_fan_54]

i got another one-
two blondes were sitting on a bench, one says "which is farther the moon or Flordia?"
then the other one goes "the moon duh! can u see flodia, the moon is right there!"

[Johnsangel]

I'm a blonde but i love good blonde jokes...so here's one...ok...what do blondes and tornadoes have in common?They both suck and blow but in the end u still lose ur house lol

[Fueled_By_FBR]

This is one of my favorites:
A blonde walks into a store to buy a TV and tells one of the employees "I want a TV" and the employee tells her "Sorry, we don't sell to dumb blondes." So she gets her hair dyed red, goes back and says "I want that TV", and again the employee says "Sorry, we don't sell to dumb blondes." Then she asks him how he knows she's a dumb blonde, and he says "Because this is a carpet store."

[Squirt516]

There were three women; a red-hed, a brunette, and a blonde, that go to a bar every week. Every week the bouncer devised a test in which the women had to pass to get in. That week there was a test in which they had to take a truth test to get in. If they didn't really have the quality they truthfully said they had, they didn't get in. So the red-head stepped up and said she thought she had the prettiest eyes...; she didn't get in. The brunette walked up and said she thought she had the prettiest hair...; he didn't get in. The blonde walked up and said she thought-; she didn't get in.

[Squirt516]

Okay, this one is a little crude, but funny.

How do you know if a blonde's been having a bad day???

There's a Tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.

[Werewolf Girl]

This is my favorite blonde joke.
No offense to blondes, I have nothing against you.

 A blonde lady goes to a store and says, "Hey, I wanna buy that T.V."
 But the manager said, "Sorry, I don't sell to blondes."
 So, she comes back with a red wig on.
 She says that she wants to buy the T.V and yet he still says he dosn't sell to blondes.
 Then she comes in with a black wig and says she wants to buy the T.V, and his response was the same.
 "How do you always know I'm a blonde?"
 "Because that's not a T.V, that's a microwave."

[KatyaK]

Hi! I'm blonde myself, so I've heard loads! One of my favourites is this:

A blonde and a brunette are walking down the road.
Brunette: 'My boyfriend couldn't get it up this morning!'
Blonde: 'Funny, he was okay all last night!'

[KatyaK]

How does a blonde get through a revolving door?

Eventually!

[KatyaK]

How many blondes does it take to drive a car?

three - one to steer, one to change gear and another to check her makeup!